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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2007.05.09 4:20 p.m.

feeling lonely inside
got a hole in my heart that I can't hide
and it's getting deeper every day
feels like everybody I meet is simply crying out for some love like me
somebody to come and set me free
(Little Salvation, Luba)


Why I gotta miss my mum so much all the time?
I just don't like it. It seems unfair to have to be apart from her all the time.
...I really need to get to a point in my life where I can live in Saskatoon (and still work at something that I love) or where I can afford to go home more frequently. I'm tired of not having any family here.
Stupid Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, I hate movies that make me cry when I've been trying to avoid it.

Maybe living alone is harder work these days since I'm working so much.

Yesterday I did some laundry (which I dumped out on the floor as soon as I got home). And I had lunch with Jo and Sophia and their friend Leslie at Utopia. Utopia is always delicious and I always eat way too much until I feel ill. But it is so good that I can't stop.

On my way to work I ran into one of Sarah's babes (Sarah has a talent for knowing many babes.. I'm not sure how she accomplishes this exactly, but it's impressive) who I had met in a park before. I really felt like he was hitting on me because he was all 'what are you doing later', 'we're going drinking in a park', etc. Turns out he was hitting on me on behalf of his friend. Though I spent a good deal of time swinging in the park with his friend I doubt I would be able to pick him out of a line-up. I'm mean lately and bad at paying attention to people. I've been meeting so many new people that I can't keep track of. Also, I try and ignore all babes since I'm sort of off the market.

I'm tired of having all my eggs in one basket. Especially when that basket wants me to only put eggs in there but yet isn't comfortable in admitting to being my basket.

UGH. I'm tired of everything. I want to sleep for another twelve hours since apparently that wasn't enough last night.

Skydomed last night. It was very busy, as expected. But I was working a liquor/bottle stand which means more work for less money. Wow I'm good at complaining. It was fine. I wish I'd been in a better mood, that could have contributed to the lack of tips. I just wasn't feeling it. I was just tired and irritable and incredulous whenever idiots do what idiots normally do. Like calling me sweetheart while insulting me. Or counting out exact change. Or asking me if I could cover the last fifty cents they needed. Normally it's all funny to me and therefore fine.. last night I was just taking it all personally.

Today I'm working in the bar. I'm still in a mood..... I think I'll take some tylenol, drink a giant coffee and dress up pretty.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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