et puis
disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2004.12.29 4:21 p.m.

i forgot about the internet this morning. until fraser asked me how my night was and then i realized i hadn't disected it yet.

my night was pretty nice last night. i was really glad that i convinced willrobbins and niki to come. they made it for me for sure. i always like sitting between favorite peoples. i liked niki's outfit a whole lot. and i liked will's GAP sweater. it was pretty funny.

i liked sitting between niki and will and making rude under-breath comments about things that were irritating me.

other people were really fun as well, constantine the great, of course, with his loud entertainment and obnoxious party value.
and mattfinn is so funny and strange. i like seeing him randomly.
i was happy the twins were there too. i like them a lot. and i'm glad we're getting to a point where our groups of friends can almost mingle. they took some good pictures and ashley drank some wine. i think ashley drinking is going to weird me out for awhile yet.
and i liked chala's friends that i didn't know, mostly because i didn't know them and therefore felt no need to impress them or relate to them even. i'm not a very good person.

i was in such a horrible mood all day and was feeling particularly scratchy and, well, mean.

that's how i get sometimes. like specifically once a month. and i don't do it on purpose and i really feel bad but goddammit was i in a bad mood. sorry to those i've been a pain to.

but seriously..there were things that were getting to me. specifically the lack of clothes of some party members. and the intense flirting (that other people were doing) that made me feel just ..slightly weird inside.
if i could pinpoint the emotion then maybe i could just feel it and then soon be done with it or something.
i feel jealous but also that i wouldn't want to get attention in those ways i don't know.
i guess that's the conclusion. i don't know.

chala's mum gave me some clothes. she likes to do that. i was glad. i like fabric to put on me. me and niki tried it all on.

i went home and to bed quite early yesterday. i was glad for that. i was still drunk falling asleep. i had many many dreams over the course of my 13 or so hours in bed. oh my good god how sleep is my favorite thing.
it's my manifest destiny.

i had lunch with my aunt yesterday as well. that was good. i mean, it would have been better if i'd been in a better mood and had felt able to interact. i felt all used up yesterday.

i'm much better today, having spent some time alone. i'm reading a book! this hasn't happened in a really really long time.
i'm also eating chips. which is very strange. and they're gross.

oh, and i'm really sick. that's fun right? serious though, i really feel like going to value village and doing other things but i'm incapacitated. how frustrating.

i'm hoping that i'm going to be alright to go to the show tonight.
i took some of that medication that can cause severe life-threatening internal bleeding. and i don't feel much better. that seems unfair.

i'm glad to have reasons not to go to elicia's thing tonight.

i really want a smoothie.

sometimes i miss people so much, even while sitting right beside them.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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