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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2005.01.02 12:59 p.m.

so far most of 2005 has been spent asleep.
and i still haven't bathed yet this year.
i should go get on that.

i just want to go back to bed right now in fact.

lately i'm feeling like i'm in grade..11 again. about. and that's not exactly how i want to spend my last days here.

i felt like i was actually losing it last night. like there was something i was supposed to be hanging onto but i was forgetting how.

it seems like i should feel powerful, or some other junk, but i just feel empty. and more powerless than i've felt in years.

maybe i'll put all this negative energy into packing. seems pretty likely.
though i might just go back to bed.

lately i've been saying that i'm not getting what i'm needing. this of course gets answered with what do i need...maybe that's where i start feeling really off. because i don't know. i don't know what i need. and even if i found it i wouldn't know it.

i love everyone.

john and i watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind last night.
i hate it when things are built up so much for me. i'd prefer not knowing anything about movies.
it was still good, obviously...
i feel like watching my so-called life. quite badly actually. damn you lack of dvd player.

i have a hot dinner date tonight. good thing cause i was sure lacking in the date department. actually, for serious. good thing hillary knows how to treat a lady.

wow, it's been quite awhile since i've been on a real date. that seems ridiculous..all things considered.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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