disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.
note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.
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2003.06.01 10:46 a.m.
i think having an internet relationship would be really bloody weird. i don't think i could do it. i'm pretty close-minded, i probably wouldn't even try. it's just that my diary is much not like me. and you really couldn't get the whole picture. same with emails. same with telephone calls. you don't know someone until you see their friends. their group interactions. their reactions to situations. it would feel incomplete to me. having a relationship with an incomplete person. this is because i'm close-minded.
my throat hurts. i wish i had some tea with honey, a good book and a cool-ish bedroom with a soft duvet. the thing is that i sure do have all that. i also have a job at jerry's that's sucking away my soul.
ryan pollard's right about in-nights. i feel a lot better. less tired and grump-ish. it was rather a long day yesterday, though i did make a really pretty cake and a fine dinner. and get to see my beautiful family.
i was too tired to get through 'dirty dancing' if that gives you an indication.
i woke up this morning with really clenched calves. i don't know why. making i was running a lot in my sleep.
i had a dream i had a baby. he was really small. i kept putting him down and losing him. i wasn't sure how i felt about him. someone (my mother i think) had taken the liberty of putting pink booties on him and naming him john. i was pretty angry. it wasn't that i minded the pink, it's just his favorite colour was yellow, clearly. no, it wasn't john. it was ryan. i wanted to name him something else, but i couldn't remember any of my favorite boys' names. so he just remained nameless. i was sad to have him i think. i remember crying and saying 'but now i can lose him'. and it was pretty true. wow, postpartum depression in dream form. i had to call in sick to work. i mean, i couldn't leave him at home. sam wanted a doctor's note.
i'm not going to have a baby today.
i decided.
previously - and then
*oh random entry*
all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15
diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured
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