note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002.07.14 7:44 a.m.

i was trying to go to sleep last night but there were too many people in my head. it was vaugely bizzare....i just kept picture everyone and how happy they made me.

how very happy (you made me so so very happy baby, i'm so glad you came into my life....).

i am too fucking huge for my own good though. i'll break one of these times. so far i just can't stop. being so big. so commanding. i don't want to lose something between me and everyone.

man, i really like paul daniel and co. much. joel and his girlfriend(?) were the sweetest people i've ever met. ever. colin is very scetchy. like he's trying to avoid something....i don't know. christopher is....nice....but something else as well. he reminds me of megan sometimes. i like his eyes a lot. and....gah. paul daniel (or jimjam, as he's called in my mind, though it sound obscene out loud) also deserves some trailing off..........he has a face like i've known him forever. which is very odd. he's such a jerk. but i like that a lot. because i'm dumb. yeah, you have to realize i've been trying to befriend this crew for three quarters of a year. and they are all very neat looking, home-school musicians. mmhmm. o, and kevin (or whoever that nice young bearded fellow was) was really good. he's so calm and laid-back and self-assured. how excellent. (i mean, i didn't talk to him, but i was watching him. he's hot. and bearded.)

why do all these boys keep growing facial hair? though i have to admit, for the first time in my life i'm understanding how it can be mildly attractive.

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the other night (friday) i had a three hour shift in the evening. which was odd. but made completely tolerable by how my two favorite cooks were on the line and i was doing passout. jeremy and steve.....(more trailing off).....are something. sometimes i look up and steve will be looking at me. like he's trying to figure me out or something. it's odd. and jeremy is just strange to be around. i can't figure out what i want from him....or don't want. or how to get what i want.     steve is really pretty. but in this way that made me over look him at first, more assuming that he'd overlook me. it's my hair. i like steve, he does things for me. and is really sweet about it. he doesn't flirt with me as much as jeremy does though.

i think i'm not getting any action because i really don't know who i want action with. at all. everyone i guess.

i'm really attracted to everyone though. well, maybe not everyone. but damn close.

oh yeah...this guy from this band (i didn't care about the music(big punk), so i don't remember what they were called) was looking at me in this really good way. well maybe good is the wrong word. he was really tiny and with a nose peircing and purple hair. and we woulda looked really cute together. too bad he's from winnepeg. oh god i don't know how to spell winnepeg. me and niki passed him on the way to the car and he smiled at us and said see you later. and i kinda hope we do.

my hair is the source of all things boy strange. it's attracting odd attentions. i wish i was more like my hair.

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niki can't go to germany. i love her. and she's best to go to show with. besides that we only make jokes for ourselves. only. don't go. okay? good.

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(more trailing off) boys. yep.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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