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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002-02-19 12:15 a.m.

oi.

� � � � � if no one i knew read this...well...

the messed-up group that i belong to might be doing this sensory deprivation thing the afternoon. doning blindfold and attempting to be creative for a few hours this afternoon.
but i'm not sure i can go. though i would desperately want to (and have wanted to for quite some time), this last one didn't have a very positive effect on me or my relationships with people.
and so...you know.........

i guess it just all comes down to how i am self-centered. or how everyone else is exactly as self-centered, but unwilling to admit it.

� � � � � do you ever sometimes decide that if you were beautiful then everything would be fine?

� � � has anyone found me anymore siblings? i really need some. biological ones that is.....



alison says we can't be sisters because they are meant to claw and scratch. (and be honest)



do you hurt yourself constantly to avoid hurting someone else? or do you hurt someone else to be happy? who deserves it more?


she told me i was being selfish. � � � do any of us know how to do anything else?



melissa just called and they aren't doing anything this afternoon. so it's one less thing that we have to worry about. oh god i just refered to us as we. oh god i meant to say i.



i don't want to talk to anyone. and really need to.


i depress myself.           (i am thankful of fraser. and of others.) i depress myself (and the conclusions of people)

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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