note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002.06.19 9:28 p.m.

number 2

yes, i realize that i just wrote a far-too-long entry a couple hours ago.....

so i'm going to go down to the auditions tomorrow at 10 i believe. i hope. please wish me break a leg. or some other form of positive superstition.

it occurs to me that if i don't get this i'll probably bury myself in the backyard. what a horrible thought.

i had a conversation with melissa today. probably about 2 hours in length. it was so hard. and long. i cry so much. you're not to tell her that i was crying. it wasn't even hard about her really.....although.....
i'm glad that we're okay. i think. i do appreciate her.
it is doubly worse to hate something about someone when they like that about themselves. or think it's okay.

burying myself, right.

i think it's summer. everyone's dating everyone. good work team. no, really. i don't think that there's anyone i disapprove of. of course i'm not thinking about it very hard....o, andrew. stop kissing girls. okay? good.

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i think that the most important thing for all of you to know. and especially a few of you....is that i try so hard to be okay to you. and i that i love you. i don't think i'm ever clear enough about how i am only ever angry with people that i care about. that impact me in some way. and that for all of you who barely know me (all of you)....this is it.     i'm not keeping a deeper me from you. and i care about all of you. and if you need me...........

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i always say it. it never sounds believable.

maybe because i don't know how to be there.

i would be if i could be. i would be if i could be.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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