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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2006.01.11 1:45 p.m.

i'm heavy with sadness. i feel so thick and weighed down.

the sadness keeps coming to the surface but then i turn on the tv or the computer or i call someone or i drink tequila.
it can't get out.
it's funny to conciously turn away sadness.
i'm just angry then.

i can't be alone in silence because then there is no family and especially no cats. even though i keep seeing them out of the corner of my eye. and every time it's a disapointment.
even though i know that adventure wouldn't be happy here, i still wish i'd brought her.
she is the softest kitten i've known.

it's quite, quite possible that the apocalypse here. it's 8 degrees and hazy and smogged-over. i could see the smog coming into the city yesterday. i think the grass might be green next door. and i don't mean figuratively.
this is so fitting to my mood i can't even explain.

yesterday was pretty excellent, but i'm not in a shape to enjoy things properly.

mairin came over and we drank a lot of tea. and we had lots of girl talk. it was pretty needed and pretty great. mairin was actually one of my favorite people this past month, and it was interesting that we only got to spend proper time together in toronto.

then we went to the horseshoe with p and met mairin's old roommates there. we got there just as sweetthing was starting and p and i danced non-stop til the end of their set. it was very, very good and very, very needed. i should probably dance every day.

we stuck around a socialized a bit. man do i like the sweetthing kids. nick's girlfriend is a little possessive but i kind of like it. tyler's possibly seeing one of the girls from degrassi (emma) now. hahaha. oohhh tyler - i like him so much, he's so enthusiastic. so liberty and emma from degrassi were there. and i laughed a bit.

nick's the new snickers guy. ahahaha. he shot two commercials in budapest or something. woah jealous.

there was the funniest band after them that was too ridic! oh god. i can't even explain. but mairin has pictures i think.

i've been spending the morning job-applying online and doing a lot of random internetting. i think i'm going to watch tv and pretend the world makes sense

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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