disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.
note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.
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2002-02-22 1:26 a.m.
things were talked out between alison and i. but i have to say that i'm not sure we have the healthiest of relationships. nor will we ever really. it's strange to think that she might leave next year. i mean in a few months. and if she doesn't leave then, then it will be in a year and a half. i will not think of it.
i deny anything hurtful. and that is why i have been (abused) i suppose. denial.
i actually had a fairly brilliant day today. i spent time (seperately) with two of the oldest of friends, who know me beyond anything. beyond anyone. more so than alisinian. because they know the strange histories (of red faces and shyness, and awkward and hysterias...). amy is delightful. one of the cutest, most well put together conservative girls. (and she's so beautiful). she is so precious. i wish i had the energy to tell her. ai. i'm going to go to the university and hail boys for her (and for i).
o boys. me and (delightfulcrazyeverything) chala (chay-la!) had many discussions on those tonight. some of which blew my mind. the most beautiful brilliant thing between chala and i, is that we lead totally different lives with different people and crowds and goals and levels. and yet, when we talk, we always are in the same place. we notice the same things and have the same problems, in strange and different ways...it is actually fairly amazing. the things that we know. and we could tell each other anything. and that would be just that. there isn't even judgement really. which is something i can well do without from time to time. i love her. i meant to tell her and then i forgot. she is the strangest of all normals i think. it occurs to me that grrrl-razor and xbrokendollx would get along famously with her. because that's just how she is....
chala has these parts to her that are remarkably close to tiny parts of me that i won't really admit to having. for fear of something. i don't want to spend billions of time with her though. i don't.
other news...i saw jose on broadway this fine eve. and he was pretty. he is sure something that kid. sure something. he went to india like six months ago...and now he's back...i should invite him for coffee. we should be friends for real...or...
i both love and hate people, does anyone understand this...? i mean seriously....
and to think, when i started i didn't think i had anything to say.............
didn't think i had anything to say.
previously - and then
*oh random entry*
all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15
diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
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