note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002.12.06 12:35 a.m.

HEY! I GOT MY My SO-CALLED LIFE DVDS!!! (right in the mail.)

who wants to watch them with me?

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'sex or a conversation - ideally both.'

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today was busy. i bought a whole wack of stuff again. how do i manage to spend so much money? it's getting bad. but i got ali's christmas, and some other christmas stuff. and a whole bunch of stuff for me. me and courtney went to crafts canada and it was so tiring. funny that. i bought new pants though, black for work and they fit really nice. i like them. not in a 'me' way though. more in 'work' way. i bought 8 meters of 120 cm black lace. it looks on my bill like it only cost me about twenty dollars. cool. i want to make curtains for my bed. if only i wasn't planning eighty billion things. none of which involve cleaning my room. i wish i had one of those jobs where you could do other things while you work. like read or knit...you know?

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i'm actually kind of scared about this whole testing business. that's good though, it means that there won't be anything wrong with me. i'm still nervous, despite the dances i do about getting to go to the hospital. because what i really want from the hospital is to stay over night and get candy and visitors. and even those god-awful tacky flowers from the gift shop. you know the ones.

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i should be in bed, i have to work at nine tomorrow. but this means that i'll hopefully be able to be social in the evening. this pleases me.

hey, you guys, come to the show.

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so i hung out with jeffmorton tonight for a couple hours.
it was....i don't even know. positive. i still feel like a jerk sometimes. i was pretty jerky to him. he's insane. he's the most narcisistic person. ever. (fine i can't spell). but for some reason we get along. when i'm not being furious. his girlfriend, jen, came by when i first got there kind of (he was working at mcgettigans and no one comes in really after nine), man do i ever have the same hair cut / colour as her. creepy. especially because i think she got her's cut too. and she said 'you didn't used to have bangs, did you?' and i said 'no......now i look like you....creepy.' and we laughed and jeffmorton looked a little awkward. probably because it was a little awkward. jeffmorton doesn't know who audrey hepburn is. there's something about him that calms me down, i just feel that i can know him...because i used to know him. and we have both changed so much since we were close, but fundamentally we're exactly the same. and he still matters. irratates the crap out of me, mind you, but matters. i said 'does anyone get this irratated by you?' and he said 'no one.' and shook his head. it's good for him i think. when we were saying good bye i said 'it's good....to know you again'. and he said 'yes. you know, i tell people all the time, that i miss you....more than most people'. so i hugged him. and appologized for being such a big jerk when we broke up. and i told him that it was exactly right for us to break up, i'm such an over-reactor. and i hate having my plans disrupted.
but, yes, so i'm very glad about him tonight. and he made me 5 cds. of himself. sooo like him.

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kurt wotherspoon cut off all his hair. no more pretentious, pretentious ponytail.

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i miss you. i wish i could express to everyone everything. but i am so blocked. soon, maybe, soon.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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