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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2005.01.28 10:16 a.m.

i turned this stirstick into a straw. wow, this is the best stirstick i've ever chewed on. no lie. it's not attached along the centre so it was possible for me to chew it into straw shape. i was impressed.

something's shifted and i've got some sort of rationality back. it might have happened while watching the o.c. (lame) they were playing elliott smith and i was thinking how sad he must have been. how scared. and how panicked when he realized what he'd done.
for some reason instead of really upsetting me, that made me want to get up and do things. and it felt like an actual battle between depressed me and smart me.
i kept getting up, starting to do things, and then lying back down again.
but i started with fun things, like picking out an outfit to wear down to be rejected by much music tomorrow. (you might want to watch it (if you like me i mean), i doubt that i'll be on, but you never know i guess.)
i had to make a pin to wear to complete my outfit so i made a giant flower out of a t-shirt and lace. and then i made a matching bracelet. and did my makeup and hair and stuff. and then i had to get things ready for garbage/recycle pickup and deal with the catlitter and that somehow led to sweeping the floor and doing the (massive amounts of) dishes.

i still feel heavy and gross and tired. but in a more bearable way.

i think it's because i've made decisions about things and how i feel about them. i've just cleaned up a bit. mentally.

..and there are things to look forward to. for sure.

and i found out margaret cho is coming!!!!!!!! holy eff. i love margaret cho. yeah. i think i have to go see her. i had a dream i was hanging out with her last night and i kept accidentally hitting on her boyfriend (like i had no control over my hands and words. fun!).

i'm excited for seeing deathfromabove and the waking eyes too. there's too much stuff and not enough people to enjoy it with.

i went to value village yesterday and i got so frustrated. that rarely happens to me in value village. but i couldn't find anything i really liked. i bought one pair of grey jeans that are fine.

improv class is always so fun. allan is awesome. and he thinks i'm funny. i wish we had that class more often, it would keep my spirits up.

i still miss everyone + everything so bad.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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