disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.
note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.
2004.12.05 9:26 a.m.
rerun has a fat face that is good for squishing. rerun is going to miss me.
work was just too much fun yesterday. i almost fell over. no, it was fine. it was too much deja vu..but i need virtually no training, as i remembered everything. that's hot shit.
and all the girls i've met so far seem really nice. and easy-going. though i don't know if any of them are people i'd actually want to be friends with.
it was a long day though. it's not quite busy enough..i need to be occupied at all times..otherwise i get bored so quickly.
after work i ran home and talked on the phone and got some nacho stuffs ready and prettied myself up for the staff party.
the party was good. good and funny.
i've decided that pot is good for my stomach. this is good to know...though i'm still not that into it.
i hate any loss of control.
there was a lot of laughing and eating and gift-getting. it was hot shit. i got this 'she's so funny' book from hillary because now i can just steal all of their funny jokes for my stand-up. i mean..that's probably not why she got it for me..but that's what i'm using it for. obviously.
it was funny when we all smoked up and then wanted to open presents but we couldn't because we couldn't stop eating for long enough to get things organized.
jaris and i also practised 'acting' which was terrible!! oh it was so hillarious though. holy god. jaris prentending to be the shy girl. so good.
i missed parades against parades..which makes me pretty sad. maybe they'll play again before i leave? i hate it when i have too much to do (ie: all the time right now).
i left the party to go and visit john because i haven't seen him at all lately and i was really missing him.
but it all went to shit and i couldn't explain how i was thinking or feeling or acting. it seems like i'm only able to make things worse. maybe i should learn to lie better. it seems like i could make things okay with lying. but the truth is just so frustrating..and then everyone realizes how i don't have thier best interests at heart. and how i really only do things that are right for me.
john says i think by saying i'm a bad person i can excuse or justify things. that's the problem though..i can't do either. and i really can't expect john to be friends with me. but that's what i want.
because i'm self-centred. but mostly because he's one of my favorite people. (and if that were true..wouldn't i make more of an effort to take care of him...)
i like that i'm not making any more sense really this morning.
i went back to hillary's and there were still people there but i couldn't interact with them anymore. i went to sleep in hillary's bed and felt like kind of jerk for leaving the party..but all i wanted was sleep. and i think they understood. i hope.
i'd like to grow up soon. and learn to be better to people. yeah..i'd like that a whole lot.
i'm so unimpressed with having to work again today.
your life is sad shooting star.
previously - and then
*oh random entry*
all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15
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