et puis
disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

.

2003.08.23 12:26 a.m.

i saw a pidgeon get hit by a car this afternoon. out of the corner of my eye because i couldn't watch. it made a loud dull explosive sound and feather flew everywhere. if it had been a movie it would have slowed all the way down and zoomed in on my side mirror seeing all the multi-coloured feathers blowing about.     it was far too real. i was a bit panicy.

.

i feel like a child frequently. especially after outings with large groups. after i spend hours entertaining then i have a slight down, when i realize how irritating i actually am. it's so hard to stop though, when i'm getting attention and laughs...

i've always been this way.

.

i think the changes these days have to do with outlook. before i'd always be deciding this and that and everything. and wanting to do everything. but before i'd really think that this time i'd actually do it. all the other times had been flukes. i will actually go to vancouver. i will actually start exercising. i will help with housework, decorate my room, move out, etc etc etc. but these days, i realize the pointlessness of the idea/plan before i even start to carry it out. i don't even get excited.

.

i'm going to be sad in less than five hours when i'm at jerry's.

.

i might feel like seeing people again. i don't know. i wish i wasn't the ficklest person ever. and so whiney about not having friends. wah. but yes...quite. yes.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured

myspaced