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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.09.23 8:05 p.m.

i'm just back from dance class, well, not just. my legs ache. how wonderful. and we learned a big routine. how fun. i really like practicing at home and at work. it's more fun than there, where i measure myself against other people. i do far more on my own. to my own music. not gross dance music. there should be laws.

since i've been home i've just been going over my dance. it feels so accomplishing.

i was two hours late for work this morning. wow. i've never done that. and i was supposed to open. they tried to phone but emry picked up right away, and told them i wasn't home. nice. it wasn't until helen called again after she'd done the cashout and opened the store, that i heard it and went upstairs before emry could hang up. i felt pretty guilty. maybe that's what put me in such a depressive mood for the rest of the day.

jamie's going to get fired if he doesn't start coming in on time. for serious...serious jamie. and i don't want him to.

dave was in breifly today. man i like him. i had a hilarious conversation with mike(cook) yesterday about homosexuality. it involved his three-step approach if a man ever hit on him. first time: "no man, i don't go that way." second: "man, no, okay? i don't do that." and then, if it happened again "that's when i might push them, ya know? to show them.". but quote: "my dad says i should just beat em up." this conversation was one part hugely funny and one part terribly sad. but at least he's better than he used to be...

i'm feeling much better since dance. i love concentrating and laughing at myself and pushing. i don't think i would have liked it as much in the past..but i want to learn how to follow structure and be disaplined. i've never wanted that before.

this afternoon i was feeling gross. i was having trouble laughing at anything. usually i laugh at everything, and that's what makes it all go okay. but it felt uncomfortable to smile. i'm feeling terrified/hopeless about my future again. and work and (possible) schooling and everything. i'm not going to work at jerry's much longer i can't. well, i can't work there full time much longer. i do enjoy it sometimes though.

i'm built to be famous. so i better go learn my monologue.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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