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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002-03-25 2:27 a.m.

today was strong. i did nothing. wait, yes. i went for tea with chala. and it was strong. she met a boy last night. i hope she sees him again. he plays in a band and brakedances better than anyone apparantly. i hope she gets happy soon.

i've still been upset by fraser and mattdean today but i can't place exactly why.

every time i think about going and being an actor i get chills and shivers and so much excitement and stiffled smiles. but i don't want to talk about it toooo much. otherwise i won't do it. just like with the store. i feel like people will now look down on me for not doing it. for wasting all this time. alisin said i could just do it later. but she is so wrong. the time is now for both of these things and i think i have to choose acting. because i've wanted it for years and years.

speaking of which, i first got into drama because of this boy i had a crush on, named ben matheson. his mum came into to workshop a play we were working on in fifth grade and i was in love with him, therefore needing to impress his mum. anyways. it turned out i had much fun. much. and that's why i am how i am now i suppose.
the strange part is that chala is friends with a boy living with ben's brother. and ben was coming down and she was supposed to hang out with him. and she was going to call me and see if i wanted to come. but the plans fell through. sad. you have to realize though, that me and ashley were madly in love with him in fourth grade and then he moved away at the end of that year. i haven't seen him since. i am still partially madly in love with him. i'd love to see what he's like. but there's still hope.

always hope. always.

i am wasting time on this infernal machine in order to avoid do dishes. it will just be worse by the time i do them.
i should go.

sigh.

fraser made me a dashboard confessionals cd. i am excited because i have never heard any. i want to give honeyblood another tori amos cd. but i don't have one. nor the money. nor her address for that matter. but honey i would if i could. i would. ben matheson!

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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