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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.05.15 11:09 p.m.

AAGUGUGHGUAAAAAAIGUGHJGAHKOAFDSGKOHJ

FUCK

fuck.

i don't know what i'm going to do.

okay. here it is: i've been planning for the past month or so to move to vancouver in june. probably at the beginning of june. take classes at vancouver film school and be famous. quickly.

i've really really been intending to do this. that's why i'm working full time at jerry's. i've been doing so much research, apartment hunting, roommate hunting, i bought maps and was about to make reservations yesterday.

and i've told too many people. i meant not to, but it came out here and there, and there, and there and there and there....

so then tonight i went to the actra actor's gym night, put on by kent allen and sean hoy..and guest speaker brenda mccormack. a casting director. and she was talking about how many things are happening here, and everthing's getting moving. two new tv shows (one with a writer from 22 minutes) filming in regina, and movies and commericials and so on. and i'm sitting there thinking, maybe i should just stay here and get some experience. and then she says specifically 'i wouldn't suggest moving to vancouver unelss you have done a few things here first. it's five times harder there. at least here you can be a big fish in a small pond.' UGH.

and then paula, my agent, was there and she was all 'meredith, what's happening with your headshots?' and 'i've had a few projects that i couldn't submit you for, i sent the one picture i had away...' holy lick. what have i been doing?

ugh ugh double ugh.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

i promised myself that i could leave. i promised myself that i wouldn't have to work at jerry's anymore. i promised myself a new place and culture and adventure.

now i'd have to deal with having no friends. being depressed. paying off my $25 in library fines. fighting more with my mum.... and on and on.

but i could go to ness creek and the fringe. and trips to regina for auditions. and maybe move out.

i mean, i got a raise at jerry's today. sam said i was a super good employee, and that not including managers, he'd want me and janel training new people. me and helen are closer, i really like michelle (one of the new morning girls). andrew makes me vegetarian soups. i get whatever hours i ask for, and get can days off when i need them.... besides the customer crap, it's a pretty sweet sweet deal.

holy lick. it seems like i'm staying here. i hate telling people i've changed my plans.

but you know, my plan is to be a famous actress. whatever will work best. quickest.

i have to go look for my headshots.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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