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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2005.01.18 11:22 a.m.

i'm in a mean mood. if you're my best friend you know how i can get sometimes.

it's too bad that i don't feel like getting out of it.
i'm feeling overly judgemental and hating. which is kind of fun. i know that i shouldn't admit to things like that.

it goes along with the blocking everything out. i think.. i almost cried last night but instead i turned it into whining. now that's attractive. and then i hated the whining and since then i've been in a dark mood. the mean reds.
i should become more like holly golightly.

the cat is still the biggest thing in my life. but i'm not sure i'm the best home for him. it's so small and he's so big. and destructive. but i do like him a lot...he's good to spend time with.

mum pointed out that it's only been a week. give it time and all of that. which is good as not enough people tell me to suck it up. but it feels like a month. it does.

i'm glad that my cousin has a diary to tell me things like when geordie's going to be back in town. end of the month, that's not bad. hopefully the phone number i have for them will still would be real good to see those kids again. i don't know how things will be between geordie and i though. seeing as we never really broke up. though i know it wouldn't be the best idea to get back together............yah. geordie really likes being a boyfriend. it's kind of his niche or something. he's pretty good at it. and since what i crave right now is to be taken care of and mushed at (yes that is not an expression)..
and i still want to be best friends with him though. and i usually go about that by making out. apparantly. and i doubt he'd put in the same effort just to be friends, though maybe?

i've just got to work. hard. read and write and work for myself.

god last month all i wanted was free time. to read + create + absorb. now i have it and i just feel at such a loss.
uprooted, displaced.

i've got to get a job. meet new people. find people who want to spend time with me. mostly find someone to go to shows with me...what the eff??? there's so many good shows that i'm missing...and yes, i could clearly go alone, and i clearly won't.
i want to dance.

i also really really want to yell at everyone. all the time. in a mean way. they're all just getting to me...

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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