disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.
note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.
.
2003.01.15 11:44 p.m.
this whole glasses thing is really getting to me. it's so much money it makes me vomit. i don't even know what to think. i'm going to call around to see what varying optomitrists charge. gah.
i finally have a copy of buffalo tom's 'late at night' in my house. sigh. sigh. if you download one song today, make it that one. really really. it's from one of the best scenes in my so-called life, when (after ignoring her at pike street) jordan takes angela's hand. right in the hallway! gad. so the song might not mean as much to you, but it's still pretty enjoyable.
and i held her hand so tight, too hard to make it right, and i turned off the light...
i hate it when there are awkwardnesses that i have no control over. ugh. but at least that's when life gets interesting. i guess. after some phone awkardnesses with jeffmorton this morning, he emiled me..in a completely different tone. it was odd. it makes me feel so uncomfortable when there's something i want to talk about and i just can't bring it up. especially when it's not any of my business. this applies to many many situations.
i hate it when there are problems in friendships that wouldn't really be problems if i didn't......make them into problems (?), or...need to resolve and decide everything....
gah. i irratate myself soooo much. and my mum wants me to start writing 'irritate'. but i'm not sure if i want to.
dawson's creek and gilmore girls were on today. they've been away for too long. rory and jess kissing the whole time was really good. it made me think that maybe relationships weren't always for the pigs. yes, cops.
what's wrong with me? i used to be so different. i think that everything i've done this year in terms of boys has just screwed me up more and more and more. and oh.....it doesn't matter. and maybe the reason why i'm uncomfortable with being such good friends with jeffmorton again is because i still think about breaking up and why it upset me, and why i wouldn't sleep with him, and so on and so on. and i feel like he's had so many more intense relationships, it didn't even really exist for him, and it was the most stability i've ever had with a boy. oh gah.
shut up.
i shouldn't have days when i don't get out of my pajamas and just watch tv, eat, sleep, and go on the computer. it makes me think way too much.
or i never think enough.
previously - and then
*oh random entry*
all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15
diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured
myspaced
