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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002-03-23 1:13 p.m.

i meant to come on here right after i woke up to write down this dream...but here it is an hour later and i'm just starting. it's already starting to fade. (i was busy looking at my friendtest.)
sometimes it's hard to explain the ammount of emotion that goes into a seemingly mudane dream, but i...well...

i was sitting in my room (in a house that wasn't really like mine at all)...i think i'd moved to regina or someplace, (but my room was still the same), and i was sitting on my bed with the guy who played joey jerimia on degrassi, except it was the real guy, who's older now, and balding, and really down to earth. we were just sitting and talking, vauguely about how i used to play emma(spike's baby) when i was a baby. and he always played with me and took me for ice cream. i asked him why he did that and he told me that he was my father. that he was sure of it.       and i was just really happy. i just hugged him really hard and really long. he said he gave sperm on a dare when he was like 16. and regretted it afterwards, that it was stupid. but when i was on the show, i was the right age, with deep brown eyes, and he just knew that i was his. and so he never said anything to anyone, he just let it be.     i tried to tell people that he was my biological father, but they got mad at me and said we were stupid. someone told us to get dna tests...and we were going to. but then it occured to me, and i said to my mum; it doesnt' matter. it really doesn't. he loves me. he loves me like a father, and he'll be a father to me.
      i know that it is irrational for me to dream this and have it mean something, but it really did. i just felt full and complete when i woke up. and it's not the i've ever felt empty or incomplete. (i think it's only stupid because it was a tv guy...)

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went to the saskatoon soaps yesterday. and they were brilliant. pure brilliance. james o'shea was there. and i still want to marry him. in fact i just refer to him as my husband. i looked at alisin and said; can you make my husband love me?   and it didn't occur to me how sad it was until she looked at me. what a horrifyingly sad thing to say. (i mean. if i were serious.)

hanging out with fraser and mattdean yesterday kicked. kicked some mad shit. i love those two much billions. and i really like it when it's just the three of us. we get along well a little.
i should talk to mattdean. but i don't know what i'd say.

fraser is pretty invinible. i hope saying that doesn't make it stop. he left a full-body imprint in a fresh yard of snow, with no footprints around it, even at risk of the thingy-piercers. glorious.

yeah, man yesterday was a great evening. and i ran into skye, who taught me drama camp a couple of times, and who's super brilliant nice. and his girlfriend and me made friends in the line for the bathroom. she kinda looks like me. in this weird way. she was very very nice. just like skye. they are both really involved in the drama world here. i like knowing all kinds of drama kids. and drama grown-ups. it makes me feel bubbly inside.

man i was in a good mood yesterday. and it's spilling over into today.

i should go out and do something productive.

yes sugar sugar. yes. spilling into over around infiltrating today.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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