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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2007.04.27 4:05 p.m.

I think something's wrong, but I'm not sure what it is. Physically. There's lots of things wrong emotionally.
I have a massive bruise on my arm, big enough to need to wear long sleeves to work, and I have no idea where it came from. Maybe from swinging on swings in Kensington.. but that doesn't really make sense. And I keep getting dizzy spells. Just randomly feeling quite bizarre and a bit like I'm going to pass out. Luckily I haven't passed out yet. I also get drunk way too quickly - not that I'm complaining - but a pint and a half shouldn't effect my walking skills.
I'm pretty sure that it's just that I'm severely anemic... but I've been taking my iron pills. I don't know.
Yeah, I should definitely get a family physician so that they can run lots of tests and then tell me I'm crazy. Like always.

Summer took off again. I've been ridiculously cold lately. I hope it comes back soon.

Working working working.

Training at ACC has been good. I got to watch a little bit of Pussycat Dolls and Xtina the other day. Seeing people live makes them way cooler. No, really though. I was just impressed with Xtina's dancing considering the size of her heels. She was givin er.
ACC is very easy. I thought people were exaggerating about how little work you have to do. They were not. I trained again on Tuesday (the Raptors game) and both people who have trained me tipped me out. Which they didn't have to. Nice. I like nice people. Especially nice people giving me money.

I thought I finished my magazine the other night. But developments have proven otherwise.
It's been a constant in my life that my giant mouth gets me into trouble. And that some people just don't like to be talked about. And it's been a constant that I don't care. I mean.... I don't know. I never write anything here or there or anywhere else that is intentionally to hurt someone or embarrass them or make them feel weird. To the contrary, my writing is usually complimentary, or just true.. I feel like I have the right to write about my experiences. Because they are mine.
It's a hard thing. Balancing it out. Respecting other people's spaces.
In my dream life people would be proud to have me write about them.
And I know there are ifs and ands and buts and all of those

Wednesday I had an audition for birth control. It was terrible. Both the audition requirements and my actual performance. But whatevers. I was still grateful to be out auditioning.
Afterwards, Naomi and I met up at the gym. Except we missed aquafit so we just sat around there for awhile having coffee. And then we went shopping. And then out for sushi. I like how we pretend we're rich. Money comes easily money comes frequently (or so Devon keeps yelling ever since his mum sent him the "the secret" DVD).
Then I went and hung out with SJ and read comics and stuff.

Yesterday I worked allll day at The Docks. The environment minister was having his press conference there. Weird. So I was in lockdown all afternoon. Like everyone was seriously not allowed to leave. Weird weird. I was just in charge of making sure the food and drink was good. It was easy and boring. But it's still fun working there because of I like the people. They keep trying to offer me jobs.. I don't know.

Last night I bawled my face off for awhile. I never really notice when I'm too busy and not spending enough time alone until I just panic and everything overwhelms me. David came and met me for a smoke outside my house (even though he was really busy with playing a show and stuff) and made me feel a lot better. He rationalizes things for me and calms me down.

Later I went for beer with Sophia. We read my new book Cat Getting Out of a Bag and told each other our favourite cat stories. Hahah dorks. I want to have a sketch where it's just Sophia going on about her cat. It's terrible. Really.

Skydome all weekend plus a bit of docks. Then a lot of Big Chill next week. Working workin workin. Serves me right for my months of free time. But it still feels like sooo much.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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