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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.10.22 9:52 a.m.

oh fucking hell. i feel worse about this than i thought possible for someone i never met.

elliott smith killed himself? it's so irrational. well, how should i know really.....maybe there were reasons.

i'm so angry and upset. and crying and crying. it's crazy and feel angry at myself for reacting so much.

i've loved him for years. and i'm always trying to get people to love him. it's fine when people commit suicide before i know that, because then i'm aware of it getting into their music. but sweet elliott? i wanted him to do songs for my films and most of all i wanted to see him play. so badly. with his tiny speaking voice and his hot-ugliness.

i feel like a stupid teenager. a stupid teenager with a huge broken heart. i just love him. my heart is closed.

i love you, elliott and i miss you already.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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