note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2004.11.08 12:57 p.m.

i think i should make a better effort to write less on the interweb. i'm sorry if you actually read all of this drivel. really really sorry.

oh why are both of my homes such amazing places? and i know i won't keep in touch with most of the kids from here when i go back...it just never works out that way. and john's going home for christmas..and i want to go back to toronto early to see miranda.. and i want to spend as much time with these loves and those loves as possible.
i'm in love with everyone. dead seriously.
my heart breaks over and over.

i really really love my mother. i can't even explain.

besides having a constantly broken heart, i'm beginning to worry about not having any real emotions. i seem to be able to convince myself to feel whatever i believe is appropriate. or whatever i want to be feeling. i realize that might not make sense. but i seem to be able, even, to invent things that'll justify whatever i want to be feeling.
i always feel like i'd want to be in love.
yeah. good story.

my aunt liked my ring a lot. even before i told her it was my wedding ring.
ew i wish i had a wedding so that i could eat cake. and dance. holy bejesus when i'm famous i'm getting really good bands to play my weddings (mmm plural).
question of the day: if you could have one band play your wedding, who would it be?

yesterday was the stupidest/best phone day of my life maybe. why is everyone so amazing? jerks.

holy secrets batman!
finding out about john and elicia being slightly involved was really interesting. and clarified so many things. like her at the moses mayes show being so so worried about me being in a bad mood and she kept pulling me aside to see if i was okay and seemed convinced that my entire bad mood surrounded john, and him reading my diary. i thought she was being a weirdly good friend...
she is so strange. so over-the-top bizarre. but i do like her i think..and am frustrated with her.

so.. if your friend tries really hard to make you get involved with someone, chances are she's secretly making out with him. how odd.
(john if you want me to delete all this i will.)

i miss micrar. already.

i haven't responded to jeffmorton's emails yet. i'm not sure of what to say.

i don't really want to work in retail anymore. i wish i were qualified to work somewhere else.
oh i need money so badly. death on the streets is seriously fast approaching.

ew i'm can't finish writing on here because i keep getting distracted by dancing and writing my tv show and talking on the phone (again). and singing really badly and loudly.

i'm so completely avoiding doing everything that i planned on doing. and need to be doing. ooohhh, maybe i'll just go christmas shopping instead! oh wait, i have
absolutely no disposible income.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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