note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002.10.29 11:32 p.m.

well, he is an infatuating piano player.

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well, i'm either doing better, or just hidding it better. either way, you have to put up with less whineing, right?

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i hate the words 'shiznat' 'biotch' 'boi' 'grrrl' and all varying forms of said words, also that people are just followers. even me. stupid me. i'd sure like a fatty j.

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thery should make more ciggarettes really long and thin and in pastel colours. think how cool i'd be.

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brian's majoring in theatre at the u of s. neat! it's pretty cool how me and brian were drama buddies for so long. always acted together. i have little places for brian in my mind. i always forget that we've been friends. and that we always worked pretty good together. fun. he's applying to the national theatre school's writing program. they only accept 2 people a year. i like them odds. no, i hope he gets in, what fun.

i even liked seeing clint. sometimes i forget how funny i've found him. man, does he ever have dreadlocks.

i wish travis had come, but no, a geology party came first. ah, university.

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i went for supper with hillary today. i heart hillary. she's....soft. her boyfriend and her recently broke up. and it was pretty painfull in some ways i guess. boys are sometimes hugely surprising. i was fairly shocked at some of what he said to her after they broke up, especially since they'd been dating for close to a year (or more) i think. there are things that i dont' really understand about hillary, and things she doesn't get about me. i kind of like that. when i'm nineteen i can go to the bar with her. man, i hope the drinking age in ontario is 19. otherwise i'll be mad. very mad.

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i wish i was a better person. and a better actor. and not such a cop-out whiner. i'd be so cool. seriouly though, i just say shit to make myself feel better. like 'i'm going to college in january' (yeah, right.) and 'i'm just not a super-good stage actor, i'd be better at film i think' (and what the fuck do i know?), and 'the longer you wait, the better your turn will be' (it's actually just that i come off as scarily needy, creepy and weird, so i don't really attract boys, at all.)

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whoops, there i went whineing again.

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i miss ellen. where's ellen?

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i want to go to an class tomorrow, aquafit or maybe even just swimming. who wants to come swimming?

i don't think aquafit is going to be a good place to meet cute boys. where do cute boys go?

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i really badly need to do some acting. just start working on myself as an actor. it's not something that you just do 'naturally', not completely anyway, i need to learn to be better. to do better. why hasn't someone discovered me?

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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