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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.


2003.02.05 6:25 p.m.

my entry from yester-eve isn't showing up on my buddy list. maybe it was showing up on yours'. but now there's this entry, to direct you to yesterday's entry, which wasn't very exciting at all.

la la la la la la.

i am in a terrible mood all of a sudden.....

maybe not all of a sudden. but terrible none the less. i feel very weird about lots of situations.

i just got a 'do you hate me' email from jeffmorton. and i clearly don't hate him. but i have this history of yelling and wanting to talk everything out to an extreme. and i want to decide if this matters. the problem that i'm having.

and the other part......i was discussing this with fraser in the truck the other night. and he said something like 'you know, maybe he didn't really mean to lie. one time i was dating this girl and she said that she didn't want to date anyone in grade 10. and then she...' and i was yelling....because when i lie about something i tend to block it out of my mind and forget i ever said it. explaination: i started dating someone else in grade 10 not a month later. and hurt fraser. and ruined our friendship for a great long time. that was confusing to tell...   i love you fraser. really really.

i just hate being lied to at all. just like fraser.

i also am a jerk. this becomes more clear by the day.

but is somewhat positive as i see ways to become less of a jerk.

i deleted the jtt's still showing up on my layout because i haven't changed it. but it is officially deleted. i didn't feel good about it. more creepy. and there's a fine line between creepy and hot. i have some sort of perverse respect for him or something....steph left me a note about her friend going to a party with him in vancouver (or coover as jerry calls it. fuck.) and i was jealous. sigh.

i have to go to rehearsal. hearse. goddamn i don't want to go. i just watch to watch telly.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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