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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002.05.16 10:34 p.m.

all of one sudden, i'm in a horrid mood. it will pass i'm so sure. (because all things will. right?)

the marvelous (brilliant?) destiny of amelie poulain, this is so brilliant. so marvelously...god. all right now is, is the low of being so enthused. so excited, for the future. for being in lovelovelove. or even lust. because sometimes that's a little easier. right?

o lust. damn this movie. i have been content these days with my lack of interest in boys. contentment. but this has brought back the spirit of crushes and love of boys (just the way they move. and their stomachs and shoes....hair and stubble and bright eyes. ai.). ai ai ai. i thought i'd have peace for a week or three.

o! that reminds me...you know about how i've been talking about/stalking the boy who works in the cellphone store? (you know, the one who looks like he'd make honey...?) well, i happened (heee) to walk by there the other day, and low-and-behold they have another fairly attractive (and manly) honey-making boy there (actually, he's really a man). and not as honey-making. more sears-catalogue-ish. you know, chiseled.

clean cut boys in suits (but messy in their own ways. you know, stuble and slightly-too-long hair and rolled-up sleeves). maybe aaron (latest mistake) wasn't so far off. maybe i need to find the hippie/businessman cross. in fact i'm quite sure i do. hoo lord yes.

(i'm tempted to use the expression panties-in-a-twist, but i fear the shooting of myself, self-inflicted, or otherwise.)

since i am not a horrible goul, i have decided previous theories of a lack of men, are bunk.

and that despite saskatoon's small size, i really haven't met him(them) yet.

my mouth keeps letting out noises that the static in my brain is making. and i keep grinning. had to cover my face with my turtle-neck. i rocked out on the way home. (someone should have been there to see how cute i was.)

yes, i am self-inflicted. or some such thing, but these days are better because i'm liking myself, and restoring some confidences that i'd previously mislaid.

i think that the largest problem in my past bigger relationships (besides insanity) was that we were both paying more attention to him than to me.

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(summer is perfection to begin things. with parks and fringes and sleeping in tents.

there is no reason for the parents to go away.)

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besides all of this....how much is that show going to be tomorrow? the one with the 'rape-core' band? (fucking shit). i feel like slam-dancing in pink net and satin.

is alix going to her friend's cabin? alix? and what about girl sleep-over? will that happen? i need to know when i'm working i guess.

i guess.

i miss alvin (to all worriers, this has nothing to do with any of the above). i should call him. that is what a considerate friend would do. too bad.

last year i was conversing with mary-ellen (alvin's mum) about my mum's orange pansies, and ian (father) looked quite disturbed. he'd heard panties, not pansies. damn you amelie. i'll kill you for bestowing love in my heart once more...

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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