note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2007.06.11 4:00 p.m.

Everything in my dream looked funny - then I thought, why of course! I'm looking at it all through a wide-angled lens.

Turns out that not socializing every second is much, much harder than it seems. Who has time for Diarylanding?

Um... working a lot - and going out afterwards almost always. I keep getting stuck at the liquor stand which is a whole lot more work and usually less tips. I feel like I should spend more time sucking up to my boss in order to secure the best spots (like all the other girls).
There's been a lot of moments lately where I just feel like not working anymore. Like just stepping out. Like I just can't bring myself to pretend to be nice or pretend to be helpful.
I know I don't spend enough time alone these days. I desperately need to. In order to decompress. To get my head in order.

There's been moments with friends though where I feel like I'm happier than I have ever ever been. Summer has officially kicked itself off and mostly it's been remarkably fantastic.

And also hard bits.
My magazine launch party was one of the most fantastic failures a party has ever been. It was remarkable the way things went wrong. Everyone in the world managed to forget about it/not be able to attend it.
No, actually, the actual party was nice. Four people came. Leslie didn't even come and she lives at the damn house! It was amazing. It ended up being me and Dana and Niki and SarahB and Sophia and Jo and Owen sitting around drinking wine and even looking at the magazine a bit. Dana fell asleep and Owen left for awhile, so we were partying at their house unattended for awhile. Hilarious. Luckily I brought a bit of food and a couple big bottles of wine. That saved the day/my sanity.
I also looked very cute and wore my new black dress.. not that it mattered.

There's something about a party failing that is really crushing.

If I eat all the burnt cookies, it's not like eating real cookies, so I can eat as many as I want.

I put all my old Treble Charger CDs on my computer. They're very nice and make me feel like I'm in highschool again, but only in a good way.

I think I've eaten at least 8 cookies by now. 14, if you count the burnt ones.

I bought a bike. Her name is Cherokee Bat. She is purple and turquoise and blue and green kind of a dip-dye feel. Very hilarious. She has some gears and sometimes I change them in order to maximize my biking potential.
I bought her a bell and some lights (which I actually even use sometimes). I also bought myself a black helmet that I pretend is cool and therefore wear mostly. Especially when I'm drinking (which is pretty much every day).

I hate the word 'that'. It sounds completely in-eloquent, no matter what the usage.

I've been seeing Naomi a bit more lately, which is good. I have to get to be a full ACTRA member by January so that I can buy into SAG and then there'd be more of a point to going to pilot season in LA with her and Devon and maybe Jennifer even. It would seriously be such a time.
Now if only I could book something. And then book something else. And then book more things.
I don't see why not.
Oh, except that it's been supremely dead here and no one's getting any auditions at all, let alone booking things. Shit!
I hate this business.

This weekend was North by Northeast. I didn't really go last year and regretted it, so I made up for it this year. Despite how the sound is always shitty, it generally is a good time. SarahB leant me one of her band-badges for a couple of the nights so I didn't have to buy a wristband, which made it much more fun. We sped around town on our bikes and hit on babes. Very dreamy.

Thursday we went by the Wordburg show briefly, then got to part of the Mark Inside set. I hadn't seen those boys in decades, it seems. They were doing well I think and looking cute, except about how Geordie cut off allll his hair and I didn't even recognize him! The band that played after them, Uberko, from Montreal, were pretty amazing all tiny little guys playing super-dancey rock/electronic/disco/punk? I don't even know. Fun though. And Jo and Sophia and Nathanael and co were all there.
Afterwards SarahB and I drank at Beaconsfield with Nathan and his friends and then went to his friend's house until probably 5 in the morning. I do really like Nathan, and it was fun to go to a random house..

Friday I went to Rivoli with Sophia and Jo and missed Sweet Thing but danced pretty hard to a band called Creature, from Montreal (again). We drank a lot and I think I hit on babes terribly awkwardly. Yay! Morganwaters came very close to losing his celebrity dreamboat status by wearing one of the ugliest shirts I have EVER EVER seen. It was a lime-green short-sleeved mock-turtleneck with a delightful leopard print pattern. I felt as though I wanted to vomit onto it.

Saturday I worked all day then went out with SarahB again. We hit up the Weather Station show and drank a whole lot of beer. We then went to the Entire Cities show and drank more beer. At one point I had one in each hand! Hurrah! (I have to say - beer is probably my favourite thing these days. I don't know when I became such a fan of it, but it sure is nice) After the musics, SarahB and I went with Owen and his friend Drew to the Drake because it had extended hours but it was lined up to Timbuktu.
We ended up back at Owen/Leslie/Dana's house at 3 in the morning. We woke Dana up and all got into bed with her. So, so much fun. Five in a bed is maybe too many.. but it's also really really nice. We spent way too long hysterically laughing. Everything was the funniest thing that has ever been said.
Unfortunately, Leslie's mother was staying with them and we definitely woke up the two of them... we would have felt bad but it was just way too much fun.

Sunday Dana, Sarah and I ate some cherries we pinched from D's roommates and ate them on the front deck, spitting the pips out. It was beautiful and perfect. Then we went for some brunch at a veg restaurant called Get Real and sat in their backyard (it really was more of a yard than a patio) for approximately 7 years, or at least a couple of hours. It was a lazy place and we chatted with the owners and with the people at the next table and ate huge burritos and laughed some more.

Would it be terrible if I named my daughters Pip and Poppy?

Yesterday at dusk I went to watch some kids play soccer. I baked cookies (on account of I don't play sports and so assumed the role of soccer mom) and took pictures and sat on the sidelines with AlexC (also too girly to play) and Lauren (who was injured), smoking and clapping and yelling awkward encouragements. It really was a nice way to spend a sunset.

Later I went to SarahB's so that I could sit around while she cleaned her room. Niki came over and we tried to ingest as much sugar as possible.
Then we all felt ill.

I slept for 13 hours last night, catching up. It was fantastic. I kept waking up, panicked that I was late for something, and then getting to go back to sleep.
Today I am wallowing in alone-time. Soaking up doing nothing. Eating ginger cookies and drinking pots of tea. Watching TV and the internet and maybe finally doing some writing. I'm also ill and completely moody, which makes the whole wallowing situation ever more delightful. I think maybe I'll have a good cry in a bit. That'd be nice.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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