disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.
note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.
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2003.12.22 11:07 p.m.
it all goes so fast. we don't have time to look at one another.
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most of the time i feel that things happen for a reason. that there are patterns and plans for everything. i have never defined these beliefs and don't plan to. but lately i feel that nothing is doing what it's supposed to. or that i no longer get why things are happening. or what the underlying point is maybe. i feel lost.
this could be because i'm losing most things i've ever been at home with/in.
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i wish i felt like there was a place waiting for me in toronto. that there was going to be somewhere to fit. people to love me, places to comfort me. and most most importantly, i need a place to live and be right for me. it isn't happening though.
oh so scared.
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me and steve didnt' get pasta last night, we went to boston pizza and had nachos and cake. oh cake. it was pretty good. i drove down broadway on my way home and stopped into lydia's. it was super busy and i wanted to see if they were doing jazz without jm. i guess they had been, but i missed it. i ran into kathy and she's so funny. she said "hi! i like you!". pretty good. we hung out for a bit. then i went downstairs and constantine was there and he waved me over. i talked to him for quite a bit. so weird. he was being really sweet and nice. unnerving. he remembered that i'm moving and asked about the christmas party. and promised to come by jerry's today. and he did this afternoon, with a couple of his (weird) friends. and he was being so..interested and trying to get me to come to his shows this week. but i won't. which reminds me, i need to get my moses mayes ticket right quick.
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jerry's was busy today. irritatingly so. dan and i both ended up staying more than a half hour late. it was fine though, besides all of that. i gave helen her christmas presents, a charity bear from the bay. all the proceeds go to the cancer society. and he's very very soft. i'm very very ready to be done there. there are people i am going to miss so much though. i like kim, brad, ken, sandra, and helen so much, not to mention..well, everyone. i hope at least a couple people from there come to my going away party.
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i need to see ethan and rachel lots before i leave. it wrecks me so much that i'll be away from them for so long. they'll like having a famous auntie though i bet. lots of toys and trips. and rachel's such a girlygirl. i'll get her pink dresses and ponies.
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i think i want macaroni and cheese casserole for my birthday supper. and apple pie. or maybe brownies. or maybe both. maybe some icecream cake. maybe
strawberry ice cream cake.
previously - and then
*oh random entry*
all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15
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