note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

.

2003.02.17 4:36 p.m.

so alyssa's off for some time. some fun time in her favorite city. this means i've lost my connection to the outside world. well, to certain people in the outside world.

everyone seems to have parties without me. it's like fifth grade again. it makes sense seeing as i'm in a different place (in some ways) i guess. but it sucks because i never see anyone anymore. eh, i hate dealing with things. it's hard in groups when there's one person that you hate or are awkward with and so it makes the rest of the situation bad. it's also hard when you expect more from people than they....deserve, or than you should.. it's hard with some of the rampant immaturity that i've come across (i'm not excluding myself from that acusation).

blah blah fuck.

i had a really good phone talk with shaun last night. and he was telling me about this new girl..and how they got to have coffee on valentines and all this. it really made me think about where lines are between really getting along with someone, and being attracted to someone. i think i've gotten those mixed up in the past. and i still do. why are there some people you just automatically discount from potential mates? why is that you can love someone so much that you want to eat them up, but you don't want to have sex with them? why is flirting such a powerful weapon? i think that shaun is very pretty and so nice, and i made quite a good attempt at liking him...but hearing about this girl didn't bother me at all. in fact, it was very cute, and made me quite happy.

blah.

i've been screwing around a whole bunch with my layout lately, so if it's not working for your browser or whatever, let me know. i hate it when i can't read people's diaries. it can ruin friendships. yeah, yeah, let me know.

yesterday i bought 60 dollars worth of movies! that was very unlike me..but well...i'm trying out this whole 'spending money' thing. i got amelie and dirty dancing on dvd (they were 2 for $30!!!!! at hmv) and i got fight club, american beauty, and moulin rouge on vhs for $6.99 each. yikes! did i mention that i bought stealing beauty and ferris bueler's day off (i don't know how to spell his name. god.) the other day? they were $6 at zellers. it's amazing how cheap vhs is going. amazing. and great. i'm just a big spender these days. makes me feel like a big man.

a really really big man, if you know what i mean.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured

myspaced