note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2007.08.18 10:10 a.m.

Hmm. Apparently I'm going to launch the 5th issue of my zine next week. I guess I should write that? I am so overwhelmingly busy. In the best way.
I hope I have time to bake pies for the party!

Yesterday I had not one but TWO recall auditions for commercials. Whoa. My agent is so proud of me. I love that. My mum is also proud of me. Or at least she says she is when I yell "Are you proud of me or what?"
And what's even better is that I've been having fun. Something has shifted and now I am allowing myself to be myself in auditions. I've been bringing in tiny props (like too many pens in my pocket for the Best Buy audition) which I think are funny and making inappropriate jokes. I'm confident in a way I haven't been before, except maybe in high school drama.
I'm shortlisted for one of the commercials. It seems like I look too young for either of these parts, but hey - you get paid $50 for each (union) recall. So maybe I could just make my living by getting recalled?

I'm in rehearsals for the tiny piece that Norman wrote for me to perform next week. We're part of the pre-show for 36 Little Plays About Hopeless Girls. I think the whole event is going to be really fun. And it'll be the first time I'm onstage in Toronto. Wild. 3.5 years here, it's about time. And even rehearsing is feeling pretty great. Mostly because I get to act like a panda I think...

I'm also working like a fiend, trying to pay for my trip home in less than two weeks (!!!!!). I'm mostly just excited to see my mumma. And the rest of my fam. And some friends... but I want to spend a lot of time doing nothing in Saskatoon.
Today I'm at Skydome, then baby-sitting, then partying. Tomorrow is Skydome then rehearsing. I'm working so much next week when I'm not performing/launching zines.

I worked up in the bar last night with Vanessa (aka Chungtron. We all made up robot names at one point) and it was deliciously slow. I totally wouldn't mind working up there if it were always that

Tamara had her house-warming party last night. I enjoyed it. I wish I had a whole house to party in. My party spirit is just so big. I spent a bit too much time talking about how great my life is... but I've been so down lately. And sort of expecting everything to go into the toilet, and now I'm trying hard not to.
SC and I hung out mostly because he doesn't like anyone except me. A strange activistic girl tried to help me help him recover his feelings. I'm always going on rants about how he doesn't have any (which I maintain is true). She even wrote down some books that he should read to help him feel and stuff. After he'd left and she was leaving she gave me a giant hug (strangers don't really hug me. I think they know it's not my scene) and stopped to whisper in my ear that SC was emotionally blocked and I might want to help him but it would only end up dragging me down. Too good!

I saw Andrew since the first time since he left for computer camp. He is terribly sweet. If MCDA doesn't get it together soon I'm going to barf. It's such a good idea and we are all being idiots about it.

I'm re-reading The Dark is Rising. It's so good. I forgot about how that whole book is just mostly about Christmas. I was geeking out at David about my favourite fantasy novels and he was surprised that I liked them. Weird. I obviously love them. I guess I just come off way too cool. It's probably because of my new fold-up sunglasses which are my favourite thing. Sometimes at night I think about them and how they just fold right up and I smile.

You know maybe I'm not meant for love, I mean, how would I write poetry?

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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