note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2004.09.18 1:01 p.m.

could i be in a worse mood....
i'm exhausted. and i have no reason to be. maybe emotionally exhausted. which i feel like i should be thankful to be home but i'm pretty homesick. which everything grates on my nerves and i just want to sleep forever. but when i sleep for too long i just get a headache and feel more ill. which just irritates me more.

i just want things to get more exciting.

i want to get a job i'll actually enjoy (even just a little). which i'll make a decent amount of money at. yeah right.

september is almost over. i've been home almost a month. and there's still people i haven't seen really. which i'm far too lazy to put real effort into things. and i don't feel like seeing people. except that i do.

yesterday seems like it should have been pretty fun. but i was just scratchy.

i met andrewkeith for coffee and which it was pretty entertaining. and we had better conversation than we've had in years i think, which it isn't surprising because we don't really talk. but which i'm glad when i remember why i really like people.

and i babysat my niece and nephew for a few hours, which i do really like them but maybe i wasn't in the best mood for it. which it was actually fine. just me and ethan fought a little (a lot) and which it's sad when rachel gets upset for me and ethan fighting. but ethan and i made up and rachel went to bed okay and which ethan's actually pretty funny when he's not being a holy terror.

i was supposed to meet up with elicia last night but i called her and she was at the hotel with patrick. which is pretty nice actually and which i wish cute+talented+nice boys would get bessborough hotel rooms for me when they came to town.
so me and niki went and drove around to everywhere we could think of that might be any fun but there was covercharge everywhere, and which we don't have any money, so we couldn't have fun. but we did go to many places. and stopped to talk to some people. and we ate some of steph's cake and i made patch adams jokes which isn't my joke at all but which i still think it's the funniest thing ever so i'll still laugh.
so we bought slurpees and i bought 5cent candies and then i was still in terrible mood with a terrible stomach ache so i wanted to go home which made me a partykiller.
which i'm boring and i just went home and watched curbyourenthusiasm and read my book.
but niki and i did have pretty fun conversation. and i like seeing her most anytime. even when i'm in a terrible mood with a terrible stomach ache and when most people would make me want to stab them in the eye. because i love her and she's a Good Friend. the kind that lets you say stupid things and especially the kind that brings you a can of gas when you run out almost right in front of your house because Supertruck, no matter how Super he is, still has a gasgage which is overly-broken. but not so broken that you can rationalize getting it fixed for lots of money. just the kind of broken that makes you run out of gas almost right in front of your house on your way to an audition.

an audition that you won't even get. so what's the point in going?

maybe i do hate auditions. which, it's such a buildup and all for so little. or all for nothing. boo.

i just want it to be christmas. and i'm tired of not making out. not tired of not having a boyfriend. holy jesus no. but which i'm just tired of not getting undivided attention. and which i'm just tired of not successfully persuing, which is my second favourite game, after the having-boys-hit-on-me-half-jokingly game.

fucking cocksucking mother of hell fuck. i just want to go back to bed.

which isn't even comfortable because the futon is wearing thin.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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