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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002-03-22 8:03 p.m.

i made a friend test. it is here. i really want alllllll of you to take this test. please? please? please? i don't actually care if you know me, i just want everyone to read it and think: "ooo, how clever she is!"

i went to see some short high school films today....mattdean's in particular. and it was really good. i liked it mightily i think. yes. one of them was awful, some were fine and some were pretty freakin hip.
there was this girl there and she was giving a mini-talk about working in the tv industry. she worked with incredible story studio and on this tv show filmed in winnipeg....anyways, i envied her much, but also i was encouraging. she isn't gorgeous. but she's good. we saw a bit of her show. i'm not gorgeous, but i am good.

actually, i'm not sure that i am. i have always been involved with drama, but in high school the teachers have to tell you that you're good. they have to. people that i think blow they say are good, or fine. (this is espcially true about boys.) and i mean friends don't ever really tell you the truth, they can't unless you directly ask them for it...i mean you can't criticize someone without invitation. and yeah, i actually need to know. more than anything else right now, more than i need reasurance or sweetness. i need to know if i'm a good actor. if any of you have ever worked with me or seen me, i need to know. if i'm going to go and do this i need to know my limitations and whether this is worth it. i wish it weren't so hard to get threads of truth in this world. just threads...(please.)

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i am so tired and have such a headache, but i feel like being somewhere and doing something...

but not with aaron. not tonight. i can't be....something......

maybe i will be able to go to the soaps. maybe james o'shea, my future husband, will be there. sigh. friendships should employ truthfullness

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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