note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.08.02 11:38 a.m.

like a beast with his horns, i have torn everyone who reached out to me.

i'm still not in a good mood. i really really wasn't last night. at all. i was trying hard not to scream and hit at some parts. i was just easily irritable, and easily mean. sorry about that. i'm not really feeling better though. waking up with a headache doesn't really help. fucking head. i'll cut it off.

the fringe was good though, mostly. i realized how little i do there. i just wander and wander and talk to people. i don't ever pay that much attention to the buskers or anything. i just wander. look at people. i love looking at people. i love seeing lots of people i like. and i like running around. i'm not such a big fan of looking for people for hours. or of feeling angry. hopefully today will be better.

so far i really want to see boy groove. and well, that's the only one i remember the name of, but i do want to see it. so much. i have to organize myself to actually get to the plays.

carlan and i talked to constantine last night. he wandered over to us and walked with us for a bit. he still hasn't had his g.c.plat. but he's trying to get there. i introduced us and he said 'shawn ---- -rant'. and shook our hands. (i'd like to point out that we really don't know each other at all. in case this has been less than clear.) i said 'shawn ---- -rant, i'm still going to call you constantine, okay?' and he seemed pretty happy about that. and then we chatted yaddy yaddy. i said we should find maggi and he said that he'd walked right by the yard and flagon, where he'd been headed. because he was so distracted by my stunning beauty. la la la. i'm so pretty. la la la. but yeah, it was pretty good. carlan thinks he's hot as well. oh, man, i shouldn't have put up his full name on my internet diary, hold on, i'm going to go fix that. good work. you know why she thinks he's hot? because he is.

i like crushes. i wish he were actually someone i'd want to relationship with though. i don't want to relationship with anyone really. ever. me and ellen had a really good talk about that the other night. really good. i think we comforted each other somewhat.

yesterday afternoon me and maggi and nicole were swimming in maggi's pool listening to constantine's radio show and we got nicole to call in and get him to give us a 'shout out'. it was so sweet. a shout out to the pool ladies, meredith, maggi and nicole. sweet. and he said we were devoted listeners. and that we should keep swimming. but he didn't catch on (or didn't mention that he knew) that we were the pool ladies when he talked to me that night. and i said my name and then later i said we should go find maggi. i mean, there isn't that many merediths. he should have caught on. maybe he did, but he didn't want to admit it because he's stalking me as well.

if anything's likely, it's that.

i had a nice late night swim with steph. it was good. the water was so warm. and dark. and angee creeped us out by saying there was someone hiding in the deep end. i decided not to drink, or sleep over though, i have to stop wearing myself thin by being around people too much. well, i have to go call people. and hang out with them.. aiiiihhh...

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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