note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.11.24 7:04 p.m.

i wish i were amelie. in particular i wish i:
had my own sweet apartment
was so cute and pretty and had nice hair
made peoples lives better
lived in france
had a lot of red and green in my life
stalked a cute boy who ended up liking me
and lots of other things.

i've been trying to write entries..but i don't know what to say about anything. or how to word things. i wish that either more had happened this weekend, or less. because i've been talking and thinking a lot about the same things over and over.

it was a pretty..brilliant weekend. it made me more excited about leaving. i've decided to make a career of stalking bands. and maybe doing them. and maybe being a roadie.

when i live in toronto, i'm going to try and see as many good bands as possible. especially canadian indierock. i mean, you can't stalk everyone. best to have a focus. an area of expertise if you will. oh ho what fun.

i'm double sad to have missed the unicorns last night, and virtually all of metric (did they play combat baby..that's my favorite today). but it was still worth it just for sweet hot hot heat. they were really bloody good. i should have bought cds of all of them. but i really am going to be sooo poor so quickly.

the show was so packed. the crowd was a little irritating. i liked that hhh's steve bays looked at the people. and talked to some audience members even during the show. he was pretty amazing, strutting and yelling and sweating buckets and buckets. and damn pretty. jessicaupton said that she wanted to touch his bum, and me and niki were being quite encouraging..but she didn't. we talked to him after and he was so sweet and soft and pretty. i told him so. he asked if he was a 'too harsh' onstage. very nice. me and niki also just stood around near him.

i've been thinking a lot about 'celebrity'. what an odd concept. and moreso, that there's degrees. priscilla mentioned that juliette lewis has been coming into her starbucks. (beside the point; i quite dislike juliette lewis. seriously. i'm sure she's a fine person but...) and thinking about carnationthom with natasha lyonne. and all these bands. and other bands i've adored for years. and how i'm going to be famous. it's all...odd.

i've also been thinking too much about how frustrating it is to have no musical talent. and how much i wish i was the girl in metric. how brilliant it would be to tour and have a van and hotel rooms. especially with boys. i love boys, i liked working on the play this summer and being the only girl. oh i want a band. a rock band too. fucking jump around.

(turn off the lights and shake your hips)

it was good to see ryan pollard there. we danced and humped. dryly of course. i love him. i wish we'd moved in together.

and dear fraser, oh scarecrow i think i'll miss you most of all..we have to love each other so much before i leave. and i'll always call you because you're the smartest.

fat constantine was there too. at certain points surrounded by girls. though lately people have been saying they're sure he's gay. which might make my life easier. then at least he'd be rejecting me based on gender, not on personality/looks/etc. i talked to him breifly. he's still a little ill. and we made jokes about breakdancing while teaching. i don't know how i'm feeling towards him. niki says she'd like to see him naked. hahahaha niki. i wouldn't. i don't want to see anyone naked. i want people to leave me alone. or just cuddle me. all the time. seriously.

how i'm feeling about the other night...i have no idea. amused. yes. and other things. i'll email him, but i don't know what to say yet. at all. 'so you like stuff?'

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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