note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2007.07.17 7:27 p.m.

I am in a god awful mood. Just terrible. I wish I had something to blame it on. I feel like screaming and punching things.

I am stressed about money. I am always stressed about money. In an avoiding sort of way. I wish I could imagine a situation where I'd have enough money not to worry. Seems like an impossibility. Shitty buzz.
I want to be able to go home for twenty days in August/September. That would be the sweetest of all. But it seems stupid. I don't have enough money. I will never have enough money.

Where is my rich husband?

I need to take a babe-break and instead I keep adding more to the pile.

The Saskatoon friends' bands played again on Thursday. It was really fun. AlexPB aaaand AlexC were there. And Niki and Mehta came. And Saskatooners all over. Dance party.

Friday Dana and I had coffee. We bought a bag of vegan/wheat free ginger snaps and ate way, way too many. Since then I've really been wanting more. Sugar sugar sugar.

I had dinner with Miranda on Friday. We made quesadillas and beans and things. And drank.
Then I biked over and went to a play with SJ at the fringe. It was a one-woman show. I am ridiculously jealous of all theatre actors. Sometimes my stomach hurts when I'm at plays because I'm so frustrated.
You'd think I'd channel that frustration into something productive, wouldn't you?
I won't.

Then SJ and I went and drank at the Fringe club. A dance floor full of actors is always, always interesting. I love everyone cavorting and parading across the floor. It's wonderful. Means I can dance however I'd like.
Networking is good, but I'm no good at it. I am good at making inappropriate jokes though. Talented.

Saturday I worked the Roger Waters concert at skydome. I would kind of have liked to have watched it a bit. I do like Pink Floyd. But I made really good money and had a fun shift.
I went and met Dana afterwards at Ronnie's for a pint. Except a pint turned into a few and maybe tequila shots and maybe going back to these guys' house...
Party All the Time. Etc.
Ridiculous.

Sunday night I went and visited Chala at Teatro because it was very very dead and she needed company. She fed me drinks and I entertained her. We mostly talked about how shitty we both were at relating to men and how for people who hold 'love' in such high regard and seem to be constantly striving for it we sure don't ever fall in it.
Nathan texted and so I went and met up with him at Wavelength. Tamara and Simon were there too. Can't go anywhere in Toronto without running into familiars.

Yesterday I did nothing. I slept and I went and picked up pictures and bought stuff at the dollar store. I organised the bathroom.

Adam Jones.

The film got screwed up. Neat.

Jonathan!

Today I went and did pictures with Ali. We used both my camera and her new digital SLR. I want a digital SLR. I want one. I want one so badly. For my Christmas-Birthday I want you all to save up and pool all of your resources and I will pool my and we will together buy me a beautiful camera. Yeah?
And then I will use said camera to make millions of dollars by taking head-shots and band-shots and maybe even back-shots (this is what Stacy calls doing it from behind. Very sexy).

But, yes, the pictures are nice. Very, Very nice from what I could tell. She will email them to me and then we will really see what I think. Then I will print them off maybe and then maybe my agent will decide. She also took a couple of rolls with my camera that I should be able to pick up tomorrow. I'm excited.

Not that I have money to get the head-shots printed off of course. But still.

I went by Gladstone to visit Dana afterwards. And Leslie was there. So I sat and ate a big scone and drank a big latte. David walked by and I went and brought him in. We sat around for awhile. Then David had to go home and so I called up SC to go for coffee with me.
We went to The Roastery (not The Roastery in Saskatoon because we agreed that would just be too far to bike to). We sat up on the roof and it was full of plants and flowers and shit. Very tasteful. I really like the way that SC talks. It's very specific and eloquent and I feel like he's always mildly laughing at me. Which isn't bad.
He gave me a free week pass to Extreme Fitness (where he works out). I find this hilarious! How wondrous! I said "I'm not going to use this!!!" and he said "Well, you can take it and just think about it". Bwaahahah ('bwaahahahs' are saved for when I'm really LOL-ing, just FYI).
I just might go. Except it would be awful and embarrassing.

I feel like I should do something tonight. Or just clean the house. Yes, that would make the most sense.

I'm working on Et Puis? #4 now. I'm trying to channel my manic panic and energy into something. Maybe when it cools off in here I will do some yoga. That might be centering or some other bullshit.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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