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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2002.12.02 9:11 p.m.

hey, jeffmorton actually called me. right on the phone. this means we're buddies. this is actually important in my life. and no one really would understand why or how this is important except probably alison. and maybe courtney. it's just we used to be best friends. and he irratates the crap out of me. and i like it. it's just good. just the way we used to be together. all mackin' it aside. i miss green tea and unsweetened grapefruit juice. and most of all, all kinds of tea. in parked vehicles. and magic tea. and movies. and music. (oh my god, he's self centered. it's for the best though.) i miss getting mad at him. and yelling. and laughing.

i have to go watch television.

but i just want to say; i'm really really glad that i'm going to hang out with jeffmorton.

and also, really really thanks graeme. really really.

part two. - later-

i feel embaressed of myself, of my behavior a little too frequently. especially with boys. i'm ssssuuuccchhh a freak. seriously. i just feel bad about so much of the past, interactions and relationships. just ways in which i've been awkward, and jerky. i guess that's what being a teenager is for...but still. my stomach has that gross feeling oh 'you are sucky and gross'. i hate that feeling. i shouldn't be alowed to interact with boys. except all my buddies. no i just feel awkward about every crush i've had. and gross. i'm done talking about this. i just feel... i'm sorry, all of you that i've made be awkward, or gross. or gad. i saw a little of myself on video today while graeme was filming and i almost blew chunks. reason #87 to become an actress. who knew it would be so hard to get reference letters. i don't know why t.r. said he couldn't do it. i think he could. if he tried. i'm so selfish. this boy came in to jerry's today, nicole's old roomate and he was pretty cute. and she said that they used to dance every night in the kitchen to led zeplin or some other classic rock. i want to marry him. he's sooo tall. and he looks a little like those hot twins...you know, the doctor and the lawyer. i need more people to make plans with me. despite that i don't have any time. i need lots of new friends. and friends i never get to see. maggi, mattdean, ryan, i'm looking at you, and near you, and at all the rest of you. everwood is a bad show. and i like to watch it. today it almost made me cry. everything makes me cry. i hate crying, it gives me a headache. i have to stop spending money on food, this is what is sucking away my disposable income. i should always bring lunch. and never buy treats. it's hard though, and i think that's what i've spent the most money on...ever. i want to get away. away away. away. away. so far.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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