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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.04.03 11:57 p.m.

i came to some conclusions today. the most important of which, is that cosmo knows everything. everything! i bought three cosmos at value village to cut them up and steal their fashion ideas (ooo fashion. i both love and hate you), but am finding myself more and more involved with their articles. ho-lo.

by the time i am done reading these magazines i will know everything. such as: -how to give to best blow job.
-how to get more action.
-which positons are best for shower sex, boat sex, the-room-next-to-your-parents sex, plane sex, ex sex, car sex, crowded-party sex, hiking sex, beach sex, photo-booth sex, and hammock sex.
-how to do a striptease.
-how to look hot in my sexy bathing suit to acquire sex.
-etc etc.

and that's just about sex. i'm learning lots of other things too, like....how to avoid date-rape, that reese witherspoon has a crush on britney spears, that you shouldn't wear the same outfit as another celebrity.....

oh, god, someone please find me something to do. ugh.

actually, i spend (what felt like) the better part of the day with ethan (3) and rachel (10? months). we watched a lot of monsters inc. rachel was so good for me. she didn't really cry, except when i tried to move her while she was sleeping. i hate panicy baby crying. ethan's so silly. after stubbing his toe he said 'i don't want any more owies on me!'. i thought it was a good statement..very heartfelt. and wise. we should all take that to heart.

i also worked tonight, i felt very sales-girly. i made almost friends with some of the people who came in, i just felt sooo saley. oh, and t-vaughn came in. ha. i didn't make fun of his shiney clothing..i might have if he'd been wearing some of it. tim's okay, yeah nice. he bought some milkbath for his mother and we made unbareably awkward conversation. yay!

it's been about half an hour without cosmo (the smut), i'm beginning to miss it.

do go to the set aside tomorrow, as i will be there, and will love you up, and rub necks....oooo! maybe i can try some of my new conversation starting lines! such as, 'i've lost an earing, please help me find it!' or when i'm reading a 'humor' book, i will laugh outloud and then when you look strangely at me i will say 'i'm not a psycho, it's just so funny' and then i'll lean in close to show you a good line.

hot.

i have twenty seven dollars in fines at the library.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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