note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

.

2001-12-27 7:21 p.m.

i hate sex.

i fucking hate sex.

okay, clarification.

i hate it when sex is so ugly and bad and horrid and sickening and unimportant.

playgirl isn't soooo good. and i went to look for a present for myself in spencer gifts, and there was far far too much sexual humor there. is it really that funny? it actually makes me feel sick.

i'm eighteen now. yah...i hate it. i want to twelve again. i am still so young and green.

i can buy porn and sex toys and all of that. i really don't want to though. and i'm scared of being with someone because of this. i'm not anti-sex. i'm just anti everything that sex has come to mean in this society. "it should be beautiful, like seeing a comet..." -ricki on my so-called life. and it's cliched, but if it's cliched why doesn't it happen more often?

i would even go so far as to say that i am a sexual person. but it isn't beautiful anywhere anymore. i want (need) beauty, not just some sort of fucking.

(and i need it)

that is why vespertine is so good. bjork manages to keep it beautiful, graphic, and yet pretty.

"who would have known that a boy like him would have entered me lightly restoring my blisses...who would have known that a boy like him after sharing my core would stay going nowhere..."

i'm going to try and find some pretty things to look at.....interested is okay..... sex

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured

myspaced