et puis
disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

.

2002.09.15 2:07 p.m.

i'm sick again.

you know what that means....time to shoot myself. in some ways i feel like this is just a phyicalisation (is that a word) of my emotions. not quite, but close. they mimick each other.
my world isn't what it used to be. and it isn't what it could be. as much as i'm unhappy with my surroundings, i'm more unhappy with my lack of doing anything about anything. i will blow myself up. no, that's defeatist. but then at least i wouldn't have to do all that shit that i'm avoiding.

i believe that i should throw myself into all sorts of arts and crafts and books. and that it will all sort itself out from there.

.

i just want things to feel right again.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured

myspaced