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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.03.09 9:13 p.m.

everyone should just suck it up. including me.

do you want to know what i accomplished today? not one thing.

i don't feel better for it either. i've just felt sick and sick. and irritable. and whiney and a little clingy with no one to cling to.

i'm feeling very odd towards people in general. i went out for coffee with shaun last night. we went to mcgettigans, which was very good and cool. luckily jeff wasn't working, it would have been slightly awkward. the guy who owns it, macormack (sp), was very friendly, and almost...uh...hot? in a much-older-man kind of a way. i was glad to be in there and spending money, as i'm usually just bothering jeff.

i don't want to be on the internet, i want to be in bed. but i'll be mad if i don't write some stuff out.

back to coffee. it would have been a lot nicer if i wasn't in such a mood, i think i was kind of rude, in an odd way. discussing your friendship with someone you're barely friends with is odd. shaun was talking about his new lady-friend alanna, sounds very nice. he was bringing her some organic tea and honey because she's giving up coffee for lent. she just got her braces off and looks beautiful. they eat a lot of french toast. i like hearing about peoples' relationships. it makes me warm inside. i'm very bad at keeping secrets you know. no, only when i don't think there's any point.

whenever i check my stats there's always links from a google search for "maredeath". or several links. who looks me up? and doesn't know the diary address? huh. i like to think i have a secret admirer.

speaking of which....uh...welll..so my brother's friend elysa, lives three doors down (yeah, that's right). and her aunt and cousin like next to her, so two houses from me. her cousin's name is micheal (or mike, if you will) and he's about my age. elysa and emry were trying to set me up with him a while ago (maybe a year). i thought it was a joke. but he called here today. i wish there was a more extreme word for awkward. i've never really seen the guy. i mean, i have, but i don't remember what he looks like, i thought at the time that he had a nice smile....but besides that, i'm drawing a total blank. so he was all, i don't know, nice, but i was very awkward and rude. and he asked me out for coffee, and i said that it was really weird, and that i guess i'd think about it. but it is weird. and blind dates always end badly on tv. and i hate boys, and i don't want to date anyone. and most of all, i've dated enough lame-os this year. i'm done. and what if he likes listening to country music and drinking beer? what if his main passtime is going to ryly's and making fun of fags? i realize i'm over-reacting...but also, what if he's my soul-mate, and i'm losing him? sigh.

any advice on this situation (including where to hire a private-eye) would be greatly appreciated.

uh, i hate boys.

this is going to come as a shock, but with all my complaining and rudeness, i've made headway. yesterday before performance three of my castmates (tristan included!) were telling me about how they've basically stopped calling things retarted and gay. wow. i think it's my wincing so badly whenever they say it. i've still got more than half the cast to work on though.

i wish that i wasnt' in this piss-poor mood. maybe i could get something accomplished. i've had lots of dreams though, and those have been interesting. last night i dreamt that there were worms in the brownies from the oriental noodles i'd added (i didn't actually put any in). it was really quite gross. quite quite. i also dreamed that jeff peterson was doing a random wiggly-bum dance. i miss him. i want to hang out with him and travis and mat more. i should email travis.

if you're the one searching my name on google, you should tell me, especially if i know you and don't know you read this. yessir.

i ain't scared of no ghosts.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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