note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.01.26 7:43 p.m.

i must be maturing. you can tell by the way i eat my wagon wheel. i want some water. also by how much i sleep. i probably need to sleep to make my newly mature brain work properly. right? i always have a headache. and my stomach is always upset. and today, i'm gettingn cramps. i love my life i love my life i love my life.

well, at least that buffet was good this morning. mmm buffet. i wish it was one of those all day ones, where if you have a hand-stamp you could go back later on, because i could sure use some more pancakes and ice cream and cake. i like my family sometimes too. my uncle a.j. came up and it was megan's birthday. ethan sat beside me. he's funny. we were walking back to the table, i was carrying his food and hold his hand, and he took his hand from me saying 'i don't want to hold your hand, i don't want you to drop my food.' which i was in no danger of doing.

also hanging out with sam, fraser, and maggi was a good lot of fun too. we slid around on the street for awhile, went to the roastery on 8th (i had lots of samosas.) , and then watched a teenage mutant ninja turtles live-action movie. which got me thinking, i sure don't watch enough tmng anymore, it used to be such a staple of my childhood. t-u-r-t-l-e power! also, we had good tea. yeah tea. i want some tea right now. i also want to go back to bed.

i slept most of this afternoon. oh, wait, no i didn't because everyone woke me up all the fucking time. i hate my family. no, i hate my brother. and my mother when she's involved in anything he's doing. he is so irratating. i don't know how i was as compared to how he is at the same age...i was probably the same or worse. but i'm pretty sure i threw less fucking tantrums. and hit things less, and so on. i don't really remember being grounded that much, but he's grounded all the time. and i do mean all the time. but it doesn't mean anything...because he just gets out of it. and he knows it. there's no reason not to get grounded because he isn't really. and i am far far less mature when i'm around him, but so is everyone. there's just something about him that makes me want to hit him. like right now. holy god. i am going to hit him. maybe i'll get grounded (ha) then i can just get out of it. by crying. or getting hurt. or doing an extra chore.

oh, i am clearly not a model child. not by far, but this is such a hostile environment....and he has no disapline. it used to irratate me when alison would try and tell him something, but someone sure should. and i am more of an asshole the more of an asshole he is. and he is always an asshole. i have to bargain him into being nice to me. and it lasts for no time at all.

fuck, this is just making me mad. --

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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