note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2007.01.19 9:15 p.m.

All I do is sleep. I'm happiest that way. I wake at the same time every day, it doesn't matter when I go to sleep.

And I read, I guess. It's getting to that dangerous point where I have too many books out from the library and I know that I will become overwhelmed and stop returning them and drown in piles of fines. I'm reading three books at once and it's proving necessary. I'm getting different things from each one.

This afternoon one half of the sky was dark dark grey, and the other was bright blue with bits of white clouds. It was snowing at Sarah's house and the sun was coming through brightly into mine.

I went to the Y with Naomi yesterday afternoon. We were tired and lazy and couldn't get to doing anything much. Some machines where we just looked sadly at each other about our lack of strength and ten minutes on bikes seemed like too much.
We spent twice as much time afterwards at Tim Horton's (Naomi's favourite place. Ever.) talking about nothing and everything. Our failing careers, etc.
One of our most extreme class members ("The teachers said I'm the only one who'll be famous and the rest of you will all be serving me french fries" and "I don't want to do video yearbook, you'll all sell them when I'm famous") got dropped by her agent. Or nudged out I guess.
It's mostly sad though.

For all of us. Except for Dwain, whose movie trailer I watched on the internet yesterday.

Of course, I am very nervous that my agent will drop me too. What have I given him? What progress have I made? Nothing tangible, just invisible ground-work..

My new hyacinths have proven themselves otherwise. I'm not sure what they are. Something pink.

I wish I were involved with someone who didn't read this.

Sarah and Niki came over last night. Three fifths of MCDA. If only all of us would get it together and get it to work.
We ate brownies (Niki got into my pan as well as her own. And didn't feel bad.) and drank a bit. And talked and talked. Lay around and I knit and Niki did the dishes (I've given up trying to stop her - who am I to interfere?). Sarah lounged and we made hilarious jokes and talked about men. I think if they are thirty-six then it just doesn't do them justice to be called boys.
Maybe we'd meant to go out.. but we didn't get around to it.
Niki left eventually. Sarah stayed until I almost fell asleep (all of that working out must have gotten to me) and we talked and played devil's advocate for each other, challenging feelings or plans or intentions.

Today I only left the house briefly, to go to the library. Buffy Sainte-Marie CDs and Soap disc one. I lay around feeling guilty a lot. Trying to figure out what it is that I want.
I am a deservist and feel that that is what's most important - what I want. Not what I need to do or how to avoid the poorhouse, but what I want.

Sarah said she looked into massage parlour work, apparently you get paid ridiculous amounts just for hand-jobs. Luckily I am no good at hand-jobs (or any sort of job, I might add), otherwise I might consider it.
Although I feel it would not be just hand-jobs.

Alright, but seriously, you should not name your child Dakota Starblanket Wolfchild.

For a minute (or few days) there I really thought I'd lost my skydome job. On account of being lazy and an idiot. But I have not. And I am relieved. I like my job there so much. It is perfect. If I lost it I would weep. The only problem is that is not all year long. I need to find a comparable job to take me through the winters..
I'm working this weekend though. It won't be enough.
But it never is.

Chala's coming over. She says she's bringing wine. I plan on wearing only this slip and silk robe. I've just had an extreme bath and then put on lots of make-up and am doing my hair and nails. Being done-up fancily in a robe is a fine pass-time. I'm considering making cookies.. if only I had vegan supplies.

Apparently all I do is entertain guests. It's a marvellous thing though. It's too bad I don't have the upkeep skills to do it properly..

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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