note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

.

2002.07.01 4:28 p.m.

ah four twenty eight.

stupid alisin goes away sometimes. like when i want to tell her things. actually, i wouldn't even be very eager to tell her such things if she were here. it's just when i can't that makes me miss her.

does anyone want to do something canada-day-like with me? like fireworking? huh? quite, do you suppose they'd have cotton candy there?

last night i finally found jeff morton. and hugged him hard. huh. i've been trying for so long. so long. i brought him back his cd and his tape and a pinwheel. man, it was kinda sucky seeing him though. because we really get along. really well. and it just makes me sad that we haven't been friends for months and months and months. and that he's going to regina in september. or maybe august. i'm not sure. makes me want to kick. i hate losing people so much. it's hard cause he's so familiar and known. i know what to say to him and what to avoid. (it was excellent, because i'm really not attracted to him, and i was sure that i wasn't, but what if i had been....? awkward.) he was happy to see me too. and liked our in-jokes. and james came to talk to me. and yeah.....everything sad and happy. ick. i wish i felt better and could just let things and people go. it's hard to lose someone who you've been that close with.

i miss alvin these days a lot as well. he's so...frustrating...and loveable...and loved. man. i really hope he's okay. i should call his house and ask if they've heard from him. but it'd be awkward.

i should maybe have a nap.

i think i'll write entries from now on as if they are letters to alisin. then maybe i'll give them to her.

alisinian...
okay....stuart wasn't irratating me as much as usual. sam was. helen made a funny joke and it surprised me. and i kept calling her a bad worker and we laughed. good. hmm. i guess there really isn't any new news since i talked to you less than a day ago.

well, today i put my order up. and then i got my food i went on my break. and then jeremy showed up a couple minutes after i went. and sat with me. now this could be coincidence. but....he was the one making my food. which is a sneaky cook-trick to find out when people have their breaks (at least, i'd assume it is). but yeah. so we talked. we talk really weird. like without jokes or laughter of any kinds. not barren though. i don't know how to describe it. maybe, like we're really sceptical of each other. my stomach hurts. or maybe we're trying to get as much information out of each other as possible in small amounts of time. he still manages to show his teeth a lot. i said i was excited about going to ness creek and he asked if i was a hippie. he refered to himself as techno-trash. but i think he just wanted to say that. apparantly he really likes to dance (to certain beats). which is odd because i don't think that i could imagine him dancing really. of course, i can't imagine him wearing anything but jerrys clothes either. still. he said his sister's kind of a hippie. i asked what her name is. it's rebecca. as in rebecca lloyd.......as in lauren (tasdad. fine i don't know how to spell it) and rebecca. as in she dated all our friends. well not all. still. what an odd city this is. where everyone knows everyone. what the hell. but still that's pretty odd. he talked earlier about how he lived with his sister for awhile and had big parties. he said how he misses her a lot. ahhh. (no, really that's kind of good.) but yes. it was a very long fifteen minutes. long like your mom. i should just mack him, hey?

.

well i'm sure they'll be more later. someday. soon. dear alisin

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured

myspaced