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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2003.07.21 10:54 p.m.

to get it out of the way, the boy i kissed and am still thinking about a little is chris cleland. so if you have judgement to pass, do so now, wow that sounded...defensive. maybe i am.. i have to start liking older boys. i'm starting to feel crazy. aparantly we went to high school together for a year. the things you learn. i guess it could have occured to me that it was likely but it wasn't. his grade nine yearbook picture is so funny. he's so little...but familiar like i might have known who he was at the time.

i was looking at all my yearbooks. oh god nostalgia. oh god. i miss certain people/things/events so freaking much. i miss niki (how's your knees? oh come home), and mat busby and all our crazy goodnesses (their bum grabbing games). and jamie bone (the mocking must continue at all costs). tyler (hi tyler hi. and that picture i drew of him with the hearts all around it and ms. g put it up in the art room holy god that was brilliant.) and peter. holy i haven't thought about peter in forever. i forgot i even really knew him. isn't he sick, someone was saying that..that he has a disease? what was it? and a baby. holy we're old. holy holy. mum told me that a girl i was friends with when i was little is married.

i want to find love. this really occured to me recently. i want to find the i-can't-live-without-you love. i want to become good at relationships.

comment pourais je vivre, s'il n'etais pas la?
i should take french some

more become good again.

it also occured to me that i'll probably end up with boys who don't care about things. who are 'artistic' and who cheats on me a lot. it seems likely. hard to explain all the reasons why.
or i'll end up with someone a lot like me. fun, funny, running about, creative, confident and shy and introverted. that's the positive possibility. it's all positive as it is all possiblity.

i told jeffmorton to ask constantine if he has a radio show on cfcr and if he has a girlfriend. jeffmorton is hilarious. he asked him about the show, and when constantine said yes, he didn't follow it up with anything at all. just said 'oh'. awesome. though, i would like to know when it's on a lot. all you cfcrers, find out. yeah. and as for the girlfriend jeff's overheard some stuff but not anything certain besides constantine's 'in love' with a rugby player who's in 'south america, no wait, calgary'. jm's interpretation: he's either semi-with her or he has a big crush on her. my comments: but he could still do me either way.
awesome.

i appologize to anyone who read all the way through both entries from today, as that wasn't really the intention..but i love you now. forever.

come to me again in the cold cold night.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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