et puis
disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

.

2004.08.09 11:25 a.m.

okay seriously though, who was googling me at 5 this morning? seriously? that's hillarious. i hope they found what they were looking for. (me.)
and someone was also searching 'maredeath emily'. hmmm.

i did make a bunch of new friends this weekend (of course, right before i leave..) so maybe it was one of them. i hope it was, i like it when people take an interest in me. except in a creepy way.

oh, right, vocal masques, cause i'm sure that's the burning thought on everyone's mind. and if it's not, then you don't love me.

point being= i screwed up badly and completely lost my next lines..but apparantly no one noticed at all, so i was the only one feeling terrible about it. it seemed to go over well. i felt really good about some parts of it. diana and viv both came up to me afterwards to tell me they thought it was very good. i felt strong and fully woman (though i loathe to admit it). and i think i also proved my point, which is that i don't ever have to grow up and may choose not to. so suck it.

everyone else was brilliant as well. there really wasn't any that stood out to me as sucking ass. ali's was sooo good. she had all the teachers looking at her with wonder and love. and she finished them off and hers was all about saying good-bye. so many people were choked up. katrina's was also amazing, especially because she took so many risks..she did funny voices and played around so much when usually she's pretty layed back and serious.

viv told me she loved me and it almost made me cry. (aww the baby.) we're going to see a dance show that she's in some time this week i hope.

paul didn't say anything specifically about my masque yet, but i don't think that he did to many people. i'd like to know what he thinks. he seemed very impressed with the entire thing. so much that he couldn't stop grinning because of how much he likes us. so cute.

the bad news: i taped over sooooo much of the funny bits of the video i was making. what the hell's wrong with me? i'm so absent-minded. (and not even in a hot way..) all the funny bits i've mentioned? gone. fucking hell i'm upset about that.
but i did get some new good stuff. so hopefully it'll still be worthwhile. and i have the video booked out again for thursday so maybe i'll get paul to re-enact his funny funny bits from before. but it just won't be the same...

this weekend was long and fun. i like that. on friday after vocal masques we went to the party at nathanael's, which ended up being quite fun. everyone was intensely trashed and obnoxious. there was so much sexual tensions all around i thought something was going to blow up. rory from second year theatre was there and we hung out a bunch. i think there's definitely some attractionsss there and it'll be interesting to have that to come back to in january. and also in january i'll see sean and lee and joe, all of whom i want to various degrees. i mean, there'll sure be some things to come back to. but rory says he wants to see the video before i go home..we'll see.

saturday i worked and it was chala's birthday so we went for supper at fresh with priscilla, chris, scott, daryl, and chala's friend alisonnn (i will spell her name with the n's so as to separate her from all the other alisons in my life). it was really fun. in an obnoxious way. me and scott are totally like an old married couple. we eat off each other's plates and give each other what we don't want and chide and hush each other and bicker and know where the other's weak spots are and also rub arms and pat back and are comforting. in a ridiculous kind of a way. priscilla and i were being really loud and laughing pretty hard. i think given our company though, it was fine.

chala had to got to work after that (wearing a sweet shirt that said "it's my damn birthday"!) so alisonnn, scott, daryl and i went back to the porch where we stayed for many hours. alisonnn invited her (and chala's) friend jared (who works at the starbucks less than a block away) over and we all immediately got along with him. especially me. in a hot way. no i actually quite like him(who don't i like though?). he got our sense of humour right away and is really cute and smart. he's taking jazz at u of t (trumpet) and is tall and thin and wears dark-framed glasses and has the same cute hair as someone i'm avoiding thinking about right now. and cute crooked teeth. he is a bit of a jazz snob, but..you win some you lose some. daryl and scott liked him a lot as well, we said we should have him around more often.

and i told jared that he could bring me coffee at the big chill the next day (because starbuckians get all the free coffee they could want) if he wanted and i just wanted something caramelly. and he did! (scott said that he wouldn't and that he liked alisonnn because he's a fat trouble maker) and i gave him some lemon and raspberry ice (which are also my favourites) and we grinned at each other for a bit. until another damn customer started looking antsy and i had to help him. stupid.

buuuttttt, jared told alisonnn that he thinks i'm really cute and quite likes me. ha! and i went by starbucks and got tea this morning because he was working and we were cute some more. he just seems so genuine and honest and open. i really really value that in people.

it seems like we should be able to cut to the chase and say "yeah, we should hold hands and go to art galleries and make out a bunch before i leave in three weeks" gahd, why do things like this happen just before i leave?

how am i possibly so infatuated with so many people?

daryl and i just keep getting closer. and he's not going to china in january and i'm glad. i really love how we are when we're alone together. we were cuddling on the couch for a couple of hours last night after everyone else went to bed. and we can just talk so honestly about everything.. actually mostly we just talk about relationships and so on. but it's helpful and we feel good together.

i'm so different one on one than i am in groups. so's everyone for sure..but i'm an extreme.

i also met a boy named adam yesterday, he's moving in a few houses down and he and his friend ducked into the big chill to get out of a sudden downpour yesterday afternoon. and he was flirting with me. and he was very very cute and had pretty blue eyes with dark hair and messy eyebrows.

i'm just building up a stock-pile of things to look forward to for coming back..when really i should be focusing on coming home..building up the excitement for that..

really i'm just nervous.

i want to have a get-together though, when i come home. maybe a sunday night jazz meeting (if that's still going on) and a fire in my back yard with all the lovlies...hopefully at least a couple people would come..

this entry is absurdly long...i really need home internet, so it doesn't all build up like this.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

diarylanded oldered profiled emailed
guestbooked noted surveyed surveyed2 pictured

myspaced