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disclaimer: this is the life and times of meredith r. mistletoe. i'm making a slight attempt to disguise my identity and hide things that i write about and pretend i don't feel things i do. but if you read this and i don't know you read it, then you read it at your own risk. and you should let me know you're reading it... especially because a lot of the time things need clarifying or aren't quite true anymore or etc etc etc.

note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2004.11.14 10:20 a.m.

ew why am i awake.. someone get up and entertain me.
and i have a headache. i blame my dehydration.

six weeks till christmas you know.

holy fucking shit these past few weeks seem so much longer..so much is changed since last weekend even. so much could happen before i leave even.

i had a really good night last night. i can't even explain.

fraser and niki and i went to see shaun and luke play at city perk early in the evening. niki was drunk. this was funny. the music was really quite good. and i had an expensive chaitealattee that hurt my stomach. mm chai. i like niki and fraser more than you. i'll almost guarantee it.

then niki went home and fraser and i were going to go to the sadies show at amigos but we decided we'd rather spend time together. this is because we're in love. but not exactly in a hot way.
i would beat anyone who would hurt him. even you.
we got cake (pear and ginger) and a thermos of tea from my house and went and sat by the weir for sooo long. it was gorgeous even after all supertruck's windows steamed up.
we talked about so much stuff.
i hate secrets. just so's you know.
and i cried and cried. and the condensation on the windows started running down like supertruck was crying too.but fraser is the kind of bestfriend that will still love me even when i'm weeping.

there are things that are still really hard and that i feel like i should be over and should be out of and i shouldn't be such a baby. but maybe i never allowed myself to be enough of a baby in the first place. or something. i honestly don't know.

and he told me about everything that is bothering him. and why is life so hard to have? even when things are technically going really well (as it is for both of us really)....

we went to the sadies show after 1 and wandered in. it was really fucking crowded and stuffy (which is why we didn't go in the first place). mostly i just needed to go to fetch john because i hadn't seen him since friday. withdrawl you know.

so i went and hung out with john and he's the funniest non-funny person i know for sure. and we're best friends obviously. and he wears axe. and he doesn't update his diary anymore. that's lame.

i'm tired and i think i'll go back to bed because it's stupid to even be awake.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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