note: potential employers: please do not judge me on my diaryland. that's lame.

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2004.12.18 11:01 a.m.

ew. i feel slightly hungover. no i don't like that at all. no sir. i love my bed. i love cocooning in tons of blankets.
hot 100 is a bitch. i guess i should eat before i drink. and also mix it with shit. oh holy fuck yeah, i forgot about how i was just drinking hot 100 straight. without much water or anything.
i didn't drink that much but my insides feel burnt up. yeah, i'm none too bright. none too.

yeah. i'm glad i'm at body shop from noon till close. that's hot shit. what an effing long day. hey i'll be having a break sometime between 4 and 6 if you want to come entertain me on it. just call me there. or come by. everyone should come by. i really like that.

wow last night was the shit.
serious.
holy hell was i glad to see every person there. well..close, but still.
hillary came with me and met john! that was so awkward. only for me/hillary i think. john only gets awkward in other (my favorite) ways. and fun. i really wasn't ready for them to meet. damn.
but then hillary left because she was feeling ill and that sucked because i bet she would have really liked the bands..and i really hope that she's okay today. and working hard!

i almost peed myself when i saw both melissa and ellen. i was expecting ellen but not melissa. group hugging with them and fraser i said 'what a good family'. and meant it. oh melissa + fraser + mjd + alisin + i were so close at one point. so close it did feel like we were related. attached from heart to heart.
and they both look so good. and are so tiny. i remember about having tiny friends.

oh yeah, and i saw clint and was surprised at how happy i was. aw, there's just something about the intense familiarity. the gorgeousness of full histories with people. the thickness of words between us..they're so heavy with everything that's ever passed between us. clint says he and megan talk about me lots and always talk about our english classes and the table gang and all of that. holy hell did we do some funny things.

and even people that i see occasionally were so beautiful last night. andrewkeith and ryanpollard and mehta and oh everyone everyone. where do all of these people come from? i really need to spend time with everyone before i go. close time.

i saw jamesreimer and i blew him a kiss and he put it in his pants.
i really like jamesreimer. he's very calm and..i don't even know. and he's such a hot dancer. i'd like to become best friends with him.

john left without saying goodbye and i was a little upset about that. more in retrospect. i wish that i'd danced more with him. especially since he thinks he's going home for a bit.

and patrick swan(n) was there too. the poet boy that was touring with despistado. and i hung out with him for bits here and there throughout the evening. i really like him a whole lot and his indierock hair. he's so sweet. i felt bad for him..it really seemed like those girls were being fairly overly ridiculous.. especially towards him.
he gave me the d.l. on despistado breaking up. that sucks. i did really like them. and they were on the verge of being something i think..but you know..what can you do? bands are strange what with their breaking ups and whatnots.
from now on i only like single artists. no bands.
lies.

i danced and danced. and it ruled and i love dancing so much it makes me want to cry. i love dancing beside people i'm in love with. and i love dancing to music made by people i love most of all.

hahahahah i forgot to talk about fraser really so far. but he knows it. he knows that i lovelovelove him. and i mostly just want to marry him and keep him close forever. it breaks my heart so many times to think of leaving again. and if he doesn't come and visit me i'll......well, who knows.

after the show lots of us went to mehta's. i went with parades and squished into nathan's van with all of them. almost fell asleep curled up on fraser, ate sweet cookies at ian's, and laughed at cody sleeping in his car..

at mehta's we played 'scruples' and i was very very bad. that's not true actually, but no one ever asked me. probably because i'd just make stuff up. to be an ass.
i cuddled with melissa and ellen and i fell asleep on ryan's shoulder. how nice really.

ellen gave us all rides home because she's awesome like that.

oh wow, i don't have time to be writing anymore.

all this brilliant wonderful stuff isn't making it any easier to leave.

previously - and then

*oh random entry*

all the diarylands. - 2008.02.21
I move my head. - 2008.01.27
read the other one. - 2008.01.21
was Medium? - 2008-01-17
Or maybe I won't. - 2008.01.15

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